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Not seeing her physician regularly or at least annually was essential to catch things early. Carter had lectured her on it before, and she had assured him she was going. But really, who went every year when you were healthy? She avoided his stare. Becky knew she should have prioritized it, but she was still young. She knew that Carter, or even Jac in his work boss role, wouldn’t be okay with her not getting a checkup once a year. If Becky remembered right, her last visit might have been when she contracted pneumonia at twenty-five. Yeah, not telling him that, either.
The hospitalist nodded. “Oh, I know Dr. Matthews. Nice guy. Good doctor. Okay, I also recommend you get in for an appointment with him. I won’t ask how long, because I alreadyknow it’s been too long. Now you have a reason to go. Do not forget to follow up if you have any complications.”
The doctor nodded at her, allowing the physician to slide her gaze, with regret that he was taken, over Carter, who didn’t seem to notice. Becky should have been pleased about that, but somehow, she wasn’t as happy as she would have been if the female nurses and attendants weren’t drooling over her man while standing in her presence. What was she saying? Becky didn’t want any of them to devour him at any time. Great, now she was grumpy.
The ride home was difficult because the sun bothered her eyes and head, and she didn’t have shades. “Put your scarf over your closed eyes. It’ll help.”
“I need to go to work.”
Carter released a short, sharp “Huh.”
“What? Jac pays me to work, not sit at home.”
“Baby girl, you aren’t returning to work today, it’s Saturday. You’re not going on Monday and maybe not until Wednesday.”
Becky made a sound of outrage. Carter looked over quickly, spearing her with his intense chastising lift of the brow before concentrating on leaving the parking lot.
“Your Daddy has been letting you get away with too many things.”
“Letting me?” came her insulted reply.
“Oh, yes. And that attitude had better hit the road. You won’t be out of commission forever, and I intend on keeping score for your ‘Come to Daddy’ meeting.”
She fell silent because she knew what he was saying, but the irritation, the frustration was building like a good head of steam with no place to go. Never a good thing.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
Becky hadn’t had him so attentive in the recent past, so hearing that while he was driving, eyes on the road, and stillgetting her vibes, was telling. It would not be a good thing for her in the short term. In the long term? Oh, yeah.
Pulling into their drive, she looked hard at where she had fallen, hit her head, and heard the big truck’s diesel engine roar as it pushed that snow over her. Her breathing began to come in quick, shallow breaths. Her head pounded harder. Cold darkness seeped into her bones, and abject fear began to overtake her. She whimpered and moved inside her head.Air, there wasn’t any air!
Warmth touched her arm, and she screamed. He was immediately crowding her, in her face, holding her hands. Breathing for her. Hot air rushed in. His voice was calm and warm, filling her, replacing the coldness that had burrowed deep with murmured words of comfort, whatever they were. More hot air. The touch and the sounds brought her back. His voice. Carter.
“You’re with me, Baby Bear. You’re okay. You’re safe and secure in our house. Feel me, my breath, my hand. Smell my scent. Listen to my voice. You’re safe, baby. I have you.”
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I-I don’t know what happened.”
“You were having a flashback if I were to guess. You’ve just gone through a trauma, and it will be a little time before you feel like your old self again.”
“Like PTSD?”
“Yes, but you aren’t likely to have post-traumatic stress disorder. Right now, you are having an acute reaction to trauma. We’ll do our damnedest to make sure we address the fears head-on. I’ll hook you up with our company therapist in Montana. Jocelyn is good at what she does. It will go away before it qualifies for a heavy diagnosis. We won’t let it overtake you.”
“Wait. I thought you were driving.” Becky shivered as she tried to cast off the last vestiges of the traumatic memory.
His slow, devilish smile made every cell in her body take notice. “I’ve got skills.” His smile was gentle. “I’d just pulled into the drive when I saw you were in your head and got you inside as soon as I could. Unfortunately, I only got to the garage before you needed me, but I wanted to be available to support you or just wait it out. When you start falling into your memory try to pay attention to things around you. Jocelyn will help with that. It might have been why...”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Carter’s face flashed irritation and then it was gone. His demeanor gentled again. “None of that. The rule against saying bad things about my girl includes apologizing when it isn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault so you can’t say sorry. Okay, let’s get you out of the cold and into clean, warm pajamas.”
His arms slid under her thighs to the back of her knees. He scooped her up in his arms and the strength and warmth of his body went a long way toward soothing her fear-heightened nerves. He’d done it countless times before they were struggling with the marriage question. The baby question.
What did he mean that it “might have been why?” Why what? That might have been why she had the fall and the snow dumped on her. Because she was in her head? That she thought it was intentional. Another mystery that needed to be addressed.
“It wasn’t an accident. It was deliberately done. If you have doubts, I will stay somewhere else.”
She tried to be as adamant as possible, but her mind was screaming to be careful not to blow this relationship like the others. In previous, less long-term relationships, she’d demanded acceptance of her ideology and agreement with her thoughts of how life should be. It had been the beginning of the end of the two relationships she’d had worth sticking around for and they were nothing like this one.
