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“You don’t listen to me. I tell you that I can’t leave them exposed, unprotected. Trish is too busy. She wouldn’t ever show up to help unless they were on their deathbed. She just doesn’t think about other people, but I do. My mom and I might not always get along, but she’s still my mom, and I can’t let anything happen to her.”
“I would never allow your parents harm if I could stop it. That’s why we are doing this. In the same breath, I would never let you waltz into a situation that has already proven to be dangerous. You can’t ask me to do that.”
“You’re a lot like the rest of them when it comes to what you think is right and what other people think is right. We try to conform and usually can meet in the middle, but when we can’t, you bulldoze through. And I just don’t want that right now. I don’t know if I want that at all.”
“You are my first priority, and I am not letting you out of my sight or hearing until this shit is found and cleaned up. Don’t ask me to do it because I will have to deny you. I love you, but getting upset and going off half-cocked will not work. It isn’t like you. You’ve dealt with things like this before. I know this is different because it’s you and involves your parents, but we are already doing everything we can to keep everyone safe. And that starts with you. So now it’s time to tell me what new development you’re focused on possibly harming your parents.”
“That bomb might not have been aimed at me but to get to my dad. I know what I’m doing, and you have to get out of myway and let me do it. I might have been the one who brought it to their doorstep by discovering the discrepancy in accounting and inventory and that whole warehouse mess. If I had just taken their numbers and not gone back over as an extra measure, none of this might be happening.”
“Or their accountant would have figured it out pretty quickly. Baby, we’re also working on that angle, and if you hadn’t thrown a frantic call of incoming, all hands on deck in the middle of all of this, you would have known that. Our meeting this morning, which you declined to attend and instead sat in the reception desk safe room, covered all that and more. You’re going nowhere until I know what you know. Now talk.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
Carter crossed his bulky arms across his brawny chest and gave her the disapproving Daddy look. “Okay, convince me. Tell me what your plan is or tell me what you want to do.”
Becky’s fists clenched, her body tensing as her stubborn resistance fought against her better judgment. She had wanted him to be the man she fell in love with. She wanted him to get strong and stand up to her when necessary. And most often, when personal stressors threatened to overwhelm her, like now, she tried to fall into her pampered headspace. She craved yielding to him so he could take care of her. That was the woman that called to his Daddy Bear the strongest.
In the beginning, Becky hated to love their dynamic so much when he was in control. She loved her independence, but she hated it when it came to their relationship. Carter was always respectful but now that he no longer stood back and allowed her to do what she wanted, she fought back against the boundaries. But still, inside, she wanted him to hold fast the line.
In the last month or so, he had become a different man once they had figured out his hang-up about kids and had become the man that she had first fallen in love with. And that was all good,right? Her head said yes, and her heart agreed, but the old Becky saidhell no.
Becky opened and closed her mouth several times like a fish out of water, the tears racing down her cheeks again. She knew he was watchful of her and could feel his disappointment when she squared her shoulders. She took a deep breath. Becky stared up at him like a stubborn teen, refusing to give up her sources.
“You safe-worded me so now you have a responsibility to talk to me.”
She stared at him but said nothing.
“Baby, I want to know what you’re thinking. It’s obviously something heavy. Let me share it with you.”
Becky didn’t make a move. She just sat in stubborn mode.
“Or, we can start this party off with some honest-to-goodness discipline for attempting to go off the grid and risking yourself. Your decision.”
Becky shivered as Carter dropped his shoulders in resignation and unbuckled his belt. From Carter’s mannerisms, his grim expression, and the way he slowly slid the worn leather from his pant loops, allowing her to change the outcome, Becky knew he was in complete control. And whatever he was about to do, she knew she could stop him but wouldn’t. She needed this to break through her barriers and her pain. Deep, raw need ate at her, and she needed him to take over. But she couldn’t ask for it.
Becky craved his dominance to take away the image that she was in control so that she could let him handle this like he wanted to, like they both needed him to. She knew how precious she was to him; that was all she needed to know. Now was the time to let go, but she couldn’t. He’d have to take back control. And just as she thought he would do the deed for them both, he dropped his hand from his buckle. No!
“Are you trying to manipulate me to do what you need but can’t ask for?”
“I DON’T LIKE TO BEtold what to do.” She raked her hand across her face roughly. Her hot tears of frustration fell faster.
“I get that. I know you, even if you don’t think I get you as well as I used to, but I do. I actually know you better. So now it’s time to open up and tell me what’s happening. You’re sending up all these flares, and these SOS signals, and I tried to allow you to work some of it out yourself, but it’s not having the desired effect. It’s time I step in and take over. I will not let us slip apart because I was too afraid to rock the boat. We will have other things that shake us, but what are we doing if we can’t come together and share the burden?”
Carter watched his baby cry silently. He needed to push the point. He knew it like he knew his own name and he wanted to be her Daddy, lover, and partner forever, but this was a turning point. His Waterloo. Likely one of many. He took a mental breath and forged ahead.
“Rebecca Shea Carrington, I love you with all that I am, but you’re hurting inside. Tell me what’s going on so we can fix it. I don’t want to drag it out of you; I shouldn’t have to, but I will. The thing you can’t do is try to manipulate me to do what you need without using words.”
Becky sniffed and brusquely ran her face across her arm. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. I just overreacted. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep.”
Fine. He loathed that word. He reached for his buckle again, knowing he would have to prove his love and dominance. Becky looked down at the floor and didn’t meet his eyes. Carter knew that when she started searching the floor beneath her feet for answers, she wasn’t being truthful. No choices left. Time to get stern.
It fucked with his gut whenever he unbuckled his belt and slipped it completely out of the loops for use on his baby’s ass for things other than play. Still, if it took that to break through her wall of secrets and defenses to prove his love, the value he placed on her, their relationship, and most of all, to keep her safe, he would do it.
Steeling his face to the turmoil inside, Carter laid the belt on the bed and pointed to the spot between his thighs. “Right here, baby.”
She surprised him by meekly going to that space, her head down, hands folded in front.
“You know I love you.”
