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I closed the door on his retreating back, then took the envelope that was addressed to Lock and me into the kitchen where he was making us sandwiches.
“What’s that?” he asked.
I looked at the envelope.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But look how much this stamp was for! That’s twenty-five dollars!”
He frowned and looked over at it where I’d twisted it around on the counter.
“I didn’t even know they made a twenty-five-dollar stamp.” He paused. “Is it heavy?”
I shook my head.
“No,” I immediately denied. “It’s actually pretty light. Feels like a bunch of documents or something. It says do not bend.”
“Open it,” he suggested. “Who’s it addressed to?”
I picked it up and turned it so that he could read the address label.
“Both of us?” he frowned. “What the fuck?”
He pulled a knife out of the drawer and started to smother his sandwich in so much mustard that he’d be wearing it by the end of his sandwich if he wasn’t careful.
There was no doubt in my mind that he would be wiping it out of his beard.
He was pretty messy when it came to eating and keeping it out of his beard.
Then again, my father was, too.
It must be a beard thing.
Though, Lock’s wasn’t anywhere near as bushy as my dad’s was, and he still managed to catch everything in it.
“Open it,” he said again.
So, I did, ripping into it without care.
“Maybe it’s a wedding invitation for Pace and Oak…” My voice trailed off when I saw a picture.
I frowned.
Then I realized what I was seeing.
A penis.
A man’s hard penis with his hand wrapped around his cock.
I froze, momentarily stunned.
“What is it?” he asked when I remained silent.
I swallowed hard.
“A penis.” I found myself nearly choking on the words. “Umm,” I blinked. “A lot of pictures of penises.” I narrowed my eyes. “I think he’s masturbating.”
“So definitely not a wedding invitation,” Lock said as he put the mustard away and then came to my side.
He frowned when he saw the penis in all of its glory.
