Page 18 of If You Say So


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I was sorry, too.

“You doing okay?” I asked my almost-would’ve-been-sister-in-law/stepmom.

Not anymore.

The word was Luca was officially dead.

Luca was officially categorized as a prisoner of war missing in action.

Or whatever way Gabe and my father had put it.

But, not wanting to hear either of them say that Luca wasn’t ever coming back, I chose to always

change the subject before they could say it aloud.

As if once they said it, put voice to the words, that it was forever going to be reality.

I preferred to think that one day he would come back to me.

Tomorrow. Ten years from now. Twenty.

I didn’t care.

I was going to wait for him.

He’d never give up on me, and I wasn’t going to do the same for him.

“I’m doing okay,” Cora said softly. “I’m just… sad.”

I was, too.

At least Cora had my dad, though.

Me? I didn’t have anybody.

I was an hour and a half away from my parents. It physically hurt to see Gabe and Ember. And the

only friend I had was a fellow resident that was just as busy as I was.

Meaning we never saw each other unless we happened to be on shift at the same time, which

almost never happened because my boss, Cromwell was a dick and didn’t like more than one female

working with him at a time.

Apparently, we were high-maintenance.

Though, he’d never come out and said specifically that. He might as well have, though.

“Are you going to hang out with him?” Cora wondered.

Was I?

I didn’t know.

Probably not.

But, as I said those words in my head, I immediately regretted them.

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