Page 74 of Knot Your Ex


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He let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Trying to figure out how I fucked up so badly that even my brothers were willing to turn against me.”

“I’m sure it didn’t take much soul-searching to figure that one out,” Theo said.

Easton dropped his hammer and the nails that were in his other hand, resting back on his haunches, hands on his knees as he watched us. For the first time since we met, we were having a conversation and he wasn’t towering over me, using his bulk and size for intimidation. I swear the man worked out for that sole purpose.

“I’m not…” He trailed off as he seemed to search for the right words, starting and stopping two more times before he finally managed to get something out that made sense. “I’m not sure how to be anything other than the man I’ve grown into lately.The anger has clung to me like a second skin for so long I don’t knowhowto trust people again.”

It was the first real words that Easton had spoken to me. That was enough for me to drop down in front of him and sit, my knee resting against his. The contact had him relaxing, even if he didn’t realize why.

It gave me hope. That alone meant he wanted this, wanted me, he just had to say it out loud now.

“Look, I can’t say I’m innocent,” I started, glancing up at Warren who just gave me an encouraging smile.

He’d forgive me when I ran from him.

Could I forgive Easton for being so awful to me?

The problem was, I knew why he had that armor. He may not have told me from his own lips, but I knew. It was self-preservation, and in its own way, he had just clung to it so fiercely that he was willing to give up everything for it.

I couldn’t hurt him if he didn’t let me in, after all.

Even if I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone else, I was, and in my quest to protect my own heart and my own safety, I’d almost not given my mate a chance.

That one mate turned into two, then turned into three more. Sometimes letting go was the only way you could move forward.

“We can’t come back from this,” Easton said, shaking his head. His forehead wrinkled as he tried to make sense of it. His eyes were storms of emotions: grief, frustration, yet there was a glimmer of hope that told me that this conversation was still worth having.

“Things aren’t going to be perfect overnight,” I agreed. “Just like I had to apologize and make amends with Warren, you have a lot to make up for. But I’m telling you right now, I’m not here for games, Easton. If you are here to fix things just with your brothers and still keep me out of your life, then you need to leave.”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“If you’re going to continue to treat me like I’m less because I came from money, then you can also leave. I’m not going to have anyone talk to me that way or put me down anymore.”

His guilty eyes shifted from me to Felix, who just stared him down.

“I was seven, and so hungry. My mom hadn’t been around for days. Things had been rough at home for Theo and Jordan, so I didn’t want to bother them.” His voice was strained and low but I clung to every world like the lifeline they were.

“What did you do, brother?” Jordan asked gently. It was clear this was a new story for them all.

“When I went to the food pantry, they wouldn’t give me anything without an adult, which I obviously couldn’t find. If I told them that, they’d send me off somewhere.”

Warren let out a rough breath like he’d been holding it the entire time. “As someone who grew up in the system, I can’t blame you. Felix’s mom saved me.”

“There was no one to save me,” Easton said. It wasn’t said with malice or frustration, it was simply a somber truth. He had saved himself. I knew that much before he even finished his story.

“I went around and asked businesses if they’d feed me in exchange for some work. I’d take trash out for them, do anything. Most of them had, had enough of the punk kids from our side of town and kicked me out quicker than I could speak the words.”

He trailed off. Easton was quiet for so long that everybody else settled onto the porch, sitting down on the freshly repaired boards, waiting for our broken pack member to say his piece.

I wasn’t going to urge him to keep going, either. This was one of those types of stories that haunted you from the inside out,that clawed at your nightmares, hung in the background as you lived your life, never quite letting you go completely.

It had to be at his own pace.

“There was a new shop in town,” he said, glancing up at Theo and Jordan, recognition filling their eyes.

“That clothing store,” Theo said. “Is that why you had it out for that woman?”

“I asked her the same thing I asked everyone else. She told me to get out of her store, but I didn’t have any pride left. I begged her to give me a chance, that I was hungry and I would do anything.”

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