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If I were to follow through with a marriage proposal and something happened to me...it’s better to withdraw before things intensify.
It’s time to go back to living a regimented life. I’ll focus on Boo’s Battle Bros. Maybe Lally and I can just be friends, business partners. Nothing more. There’s too much risk.
Staying busy for the rest of the afternoon, I expect my brothers to make contact, but I don’t get so much as a text.
Just before dusk, I talk myself into heading to Lally’s place. We’ll talk to discuss the new arrangement.
When she hollers that the door is open and appears from her room, looking pretty with her curls kissing her shoulders and cascading down her back, her green eyes sparkling like diamonds...
The flare inside surges.
The red flag lurches.
She wears a pair of leggings and a Boo’s Battle Bro’s T-shirt. She passes one to me. “Happy belated birthday.”
“You had these made?”
My resolve to end things goes out to sea. She’s so thoughtful, so perfect. But what if something happens? What if something happens to me and it breaks her?
“Are you ready?” she thumbs over her shoulder toward her SUV. “The idea is to leave at sunset to enjoy it and naturally acclimate to the lack of light.”
“We’re going somewhere? Can’t we just use the kayaks I got for the program?”
“It’s a group excursion with a guide. Figured it would be safer because they know the best launch spots, the currents, and any hazards.”
I grunt.
When we get to the kayak shop, a man half my age gives us a spiel about what to expect, safety, and to watch out for Lola.
The Manatee Jubilee, that I missed, comes to mind. I won’t lie, I enjoyed the pie Lally left for me, but I know it was meant for us. She works so hard, tries so hard. She’s amazing.
But I shake my head, telling myselfno.
“Did you have a question, sir?” the kid asks.
“What? Oh, no. I’m fine.”
Lally’s brows pinch together.
She can tell that I’m not all here, but I have to create distance. It can’t be physical because we’re neighbors and she’s an amazing veterinarian that I’m lucky to have on staff, but I will create emotional space between us.
It’s for her own good.
Lally and I load into a tandem kayak with a clear hull. As we launch, I realize it’s been far too long since I’ve been on the water. Getting a boat to go along with the retreat experience at the cottages wouldn’t be a bad investment. I wonder if Boo would enjoy it.
My mind elsewhere, I don’t notice the sunset. I don’t hear Lally whispering my name until she looks over her shoulder, rocking the boat.
“Are you back there?” she asks with laughter in her voice. Or maybe it’s nervousness.
It’s then I notice we’re paddling directly toward a neon bloom. It’s wondrous. Magical. Breathtaking.
“It’s like shooting stars under the water,” Lally says as we get closer.
Little creatures like plankton and other microscopic organisms put on a show. They glow fluorescent, shimmering and swaying underwater.
The guide and the other kayakers continue while Lally and I remain behind, completely rapt, and almost wrapped up like a glowing gift.
“It’s amazing,” she whispers.
