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To his credit, he wasn’t wrong. I would’ve been worried about me too.
“Can I come in? I think we should talk.”
The angry, rejected side of me wants to growl and bark at him. Too little too late, buddy!
“Oh, you want to talk now? In the middle of the night?”
“We’re good at staying up late talking.”
I tip my head to the side, remembering fondly that night in the hotel.
Unbolting the first lock, I pause. This past week of him being bitten by a black widow, seeing a strong man down for the count, worrying. Then distancing himself at the official opening of the retreat has been a roller coaster—and not the fun parts.
I told myself that getting the message in the bottle was my last attempt to reach Magnus—if it was there. The dangers of boarding a pirate ship were part of my calculus, but my reasoning was if I could operate a skyscraper window cleaning machine and spray paint a garbled message to a guy I didn’t even love, surely, I could try to obtain a message in a bottle.
But I guess the relationship isn’t what I thought it was. Yes, he came after me on the ship, but he was as cold as the sailors. I didn’t see any relief in his eyes. Granted, it was dark, but still. No long embrace on shore. No whispers of relief that I was safe.
It’s not that I put myself in harm’s way to scare him or obtain a certain response other than to prove that I’m strong. I can hold my own. That I’m willing to fight for him.
“Lally?” he says, inches away on the other side of the door.
Right now, if I let Magnus in, I’m opening myself to more disappointment. Maybe even an official,It’s over.
Can I bear that? Am I as strong as I think I am?
I click the lock and pull open the door. The dogs greet their doggy daddy, completely oblivious to his formal resignation from the role.
The other three dogs follow, Boo with a glance my way and a lick of the top of my hand and the other two, Maiti and Rebel, with their heads high, sniffing out the new-to-them space.
“Can we talk?” Magnus asks.
“Go ahead. Talk.” My tone is flat.
His eyes search mine, but I don’t move. Don’t invite him to sit down. Arms crossed in front of my chest, my defenses are up. The moat is being dug in real time.
“Things haven’t been the same since I got bit by the spider and I’m sorry.”
He led with an apology. I nod, accepting it.
“The grand opening of Boo’s Battle Bros was a haze. I was afraid I was in over my head. Still am. It’s a lot.”
“And there I thought we were in it together.”
Magnus’s shoulders drop a fraction. “We were. We are. I apologize for not acting like it.”
“You intended to avoid hurting me. But when you pulled away, you did anyway.”
He steps closer, face full of anguish. “I’m sor—”
“I accept your apology.”
“Thank you. I remember what I said to you while I was in that black widow fit. When I saw you talking to Nora, so much came crashing down on me. You were right. The reason I avoided relationships was because I never wanted to fall in love with a woman and then leave her to live alone or be a single mother. I know it’s been a while, but I guess I still grapple with everything that happened with Sean. Even though I got out of the military, stuff follows you.”
“There’s no deadline marked on the calendar to resolve grief.” I know this firsthand.
“Yeah, but what happened to Sean could happen to me.”
“But it could alsonothappen. You’re you.”
