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“You never know,” I say with a shrug. “I should probably get going soon. Thanks for the beer, but it’s getting late.”
“You can crash here if you want,” Eric offers. “Unless you’d rather sleep with Theo.”
A forced laugh escapes my lips. I should take Eric up on his offer. Sleeping on his couch is better than tempting fate and sharing a bed with Theo again. “Thanks, I could crash on the couch. I’ll be out early in the morning. Got to hit the gym.”
Eric bites his lip, then grabs the beer bottles, taking them to the kitchen. I hear the clink of the bottles landing in the recycling before he walks back into the room. “You wantto watch something?” he offers as he takes a seat on the couch again. I know he’s trying to change the subject, but the point isn’t lost on me. We both know it’s a horrible idea for me to mess around with Theo. Whatever we’re doing needs to stop.
“Sure,” I agree. I grab the remote and hand it to Eric. “Here, you pick.”
We don’t talk as the TV plays, but I’m still thinking of Theo. The broken way his words turned to nonsense as I sucked him off. It shouldn’t be as hot as it is.
Chapter Eleven
Theo
My phone rings again, but with a glance at the caller id, I leave it where it is. I can’t deal with Mom’s bullshit right now. Not with everything on my mind. It’s been a week since Cy left, and it’s still all I can think about. The ringing stops, and I sigh a breath of relief. At least until the notification for a new voicemail pops up. I can’t ignore Mom forever, but I don’t need her voice in my head right now. It’s difficult enough to sort out my own feelings on the matter.
Maybe I need to face the facts. Regardless of what happened with Cypress, I can’t keep denying it. I’m not straight. And maybe it’d be easier to move on from the inappropriate thoughts about Cy if I’m willing to admit that and explore a little. I grab my phone, trying to think of a low-pressure way to take a little risk. A google searchof clubs in the area leads me to a result that doesn’t look too scary. I tap my finger on my desk, debating my options. Still, just going to a gay club doesn’t have to mean anything. I can try to dance and maybe flirt a little, nothing more has to happen.
With my mind made up, I grab a fresh shirt from my closet. I have no idea what to wear to something like this, but I’m guessing a button-up shirt and nice jeans will work. Once I’m dressed, I grab my keys and take a deep breath. It’s now or never.
The parking lot is crowded when I pull up, but I find a spot that isn’t too far from the club. I still have to make myself do it. Walk into that club and flirt with a guy. My jaw tightens enough that it hurts, but I take a step out of the car. Then another. Before I know it, I’m standing in a short line waiting to get in. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans as I walk inside the building. Despite it being a weekday night, the dance floor is packed. I take a deep breath as I scan the crowd, looking for someone to catch my interest.
My heart beats faster as I notice a guy dancing. The way he moves his hips, shaking his ass, is the first thing to get my attention. The tight denim of his jeans shows off thecurves of his butt, and I can’t look away. I’ve noticed other guys before, but I’ve never really let myself look. I pull my eyes away from his ass to look up at the see through shirt and finally the short brown hair on his head. I can’t see his face from this angle, but I find myself walking closer to get a better look.
My shoulder bumps into someone as I make my way across the dance floor. A hand grabs my wrist, pulling me to a stop. “Theo? No fucking way.” The familiar voice makes me stop. I turn and find myself face to face with Eric.
We still haven’t talked after I walked in on him and Cy, and maybe I owe him an apology, but I don’t know what to say. “Can I buy you a drink?” I ask. I’m gonna need one myself for whatever talk is coming.
“Sure.” Eric grabs my wrist, pulling me through the crowd to the bar. He yells his order to the bartender, then both their eyes go to me.
“Uh rum and coke,” I say. I pull out my wallet, paying for both drinks. Eric takes a seat on a bar stool next to me. He rests one arm on the bar as he faces me, his eyes looking me over slowly. “What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” Eric shrugs. “Just honestly wasn’t expecting to see you here. You do know what kind of a club this is, right?” There’s a teasing tone to Eric’s words, but I bite my lip. This isn’t about him. I’m here for me and him being here doesn’t change that.
The bartender sets down our drinks, and I don’t waste time thinking of how to answer Eric. I grab my glass, bringing it to my lips to take a large gulp. The alcohol burns my throat, but it gives me the courage to say what I’m about to. “I know what kind of club it is.”
“You stopped talking to me when you found out I’m pansexual.”
“No, I stopped talking to you when I found you hooking up with Cypress,” I retort. I don’t really want to rehash all of this, but it doesn’t feel like I have much of a choice.
“Why does it matter?” Eric grabs the straw in his drink, moving it in a lazy circle around the glass.
“They’re my stepsibling. You don’t think I’d rather hear that information from you than walk in on the two of you?”
“Why did you walk in on us? You know that part still doesn’t add up. You didn’t knock or anything.” He lifts the glass to his lips, taking a drink.
I don’t say anything. Hearing Eric’s ringtone when I texted him isn’t a decent excuse. Besides, it doesn’t change the fact that I could hear them moaning. I knew what I was walking in on before I opened the door. I just didn’t want to believe the obvious signs that Eric was with Cy. “I was curious, alright?” I shrug, but admitting it feels like a weight lifted. “I saw your car in the driveway, and I couldn’t believe it was you with Cy.” I’ve never told any of my friends about my attraction to guys. If I hadn’t walked in on Eric with Cy, I probably wouldn’t be telling him now either. Thinking of him with Cy sends a different range of emotions to my head than when it first happened.
I’m still pissed, but not at Eric for hooking up with Cy. I’m pissed because Eric could actually be with Cy. He doesn’t have the issues I do with Cy being my stepsibling. He didn’t scare Cy off with homophobic bullshit. I can’t claim to be unaware of the crap that comes out of my lips when I’m around Cy. I open my mouth, and my mom just jumps out. It’s not them I have an issue with.
I take another drink of my cocktail and glance out at the dance floor again. I’m not looking at Eric, so I’m a little surprised when I hear his next question. “Do you want todance?”
I turn to get a better look at Eric, but he isn’t sneering or smirking. His eyes meet mine, calmly waiting for a response. “Sure,” I answer, not really thinking it through. I stand up from my spot at the bar and follow Eric back through the crowd. He makes the first move, taking a drink of his bright blue cocktail, before he places his other hand at my hip, pulling me closer to him.
For all the time we’ve been friends, I don’t think I’ve ever really looked at Eric. He has a similar build to mine. We’re both bigger guys, and I’ve seen firsthand how that translates to rolling around on the wrestling mat. It’s a stretch to look at him, not as a possible wrestling opponent, but as someone I might find attractive. Objectively speaking, Eric is good looking. He has a sharp square jaw with a touch of stubble and his brown hair is short in a basic fade. But I don’t feel any attraction to him.
I place my hand hesitantly on Eric’s shoulder. I’m not sure how this works. I’ve only ever danced with women and never like this. He laughs as I accidentally step on his foot and our hips bump.
