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Since he ruined me for all others and had put an invisible brand on me that deemed me as only his.
Even now I was still thinking about that first time… and the days that followed, how he’d taken me every night in his bed, in the shower, from behind, as I rode him. Being with Arlo was untamed, like we were two animals rutting together, sweaty and desperate, both needing to get off because it would be the final completion of bringing us together.
It had been wild and dirty. It had been aggressive and violent.
It was perfect.
And although all I wanted to do was stay wrapped in that fairy tale where the villain had made me his and I never had to worry about the what-ifs, reality was crashing back into me.
I stared out at the sight of Vegas. It had the same feel for me as it always did. Desperation, longing… hunger. It was a thick,sticky feeling that coated a person from head to toe, trying to suck them in with the flashing lights, the promise of euphoria and pleasure, the lie that if you just stayed a little bit longer, you’d fall in love.
A beautiful lie. For me at least.
But I knew there were the stupid in the world who embraced it all, if only for a moment in time. They’d get lost in how pretty things were on the outside, not knowing that if they dug a little deeper, they’d come to the rotten center. But I’d never been fooled, not when I spent my whole life nestled away in the slums where the beauty of what could be never touched you.
We’d taken a private jet from Desolation to Vegas almost two nights after Arlo killed Leonid. I wanted to tell him it was too soon, to let me think about this, for us to try to figure something else out. It wasn't that I was averse to him taking out Henry. In fact, when I thought about it, this sense of all things right filled me. And that scared me, terrified me that I was comfortable with the grit and destruction that came with the man I loved.
Because the truth was, I was sick in the head because I wanted Henry gone. I wanted my father to see the repercussions of what would happen if he tried to hurt me. I wanted Arlo to show everyone what he was capable of.
I didn’t want to seem weak, never had been in my entire life, but for the first time ever, I felt as if I was cocooned in this bubble, as if I lived this whole other life. Feminists around the world would probably skin me alive at how much I loved the lengths Arlo would go to, to ensure my safety.
“It’s time,” Arlo said in his signature deep and gravelly voice from behind me.
I turned around but didn’t move closer, feet upon feet separating us as he stood shrouded in shadows on the other end of the hotel room. He was magnificent and beautiful as I took inthe suit he wore, a dark and expensive visage of what he really was.
A professional killer. A violent murderer with no remorse. A sociopath perhaps.
The man I love.
I made my way toward him until mere inches were the only thing keeping us apart.
“I’ll say it again… I think it’s best if you don’t come so that you don’t see what’s going to happen.”
I licked my lips and shook my head. He’d tried to tell me I wasn’t going with him tonight—demanded I stay safely in the hotel room, more accurately. But if this was really going down, Ihadto be there. For my peace of mind and to close this chapter in my life.
“I’m coming,” I said firmly—finally—and kicked up my chin in defiance, which had the corner of his mouth lifting in amusement despite the seriousness of the situation. He lifted his hand and cupped the side of my face. His expression softened.
“Grown men don’t even have the balls to defy me.” He leaned in and kissed me slowly and thoroughly, and I melted into him like I always did. “Your strength is one of the reasons I love you so fiercely.” His words were low and deep and murmured against my mouth, and my pulse did a flip in my chest.
My heart pounded in my chest at his words. “I love you,” I said, the words sounding like they’d been torn from me and rend me in half.
He pulled back, and I immediately rested my forehead on the center of his chest, breathing in his scent. I loved this man so much it physically hurt, and although I knew nothing would happen to him because he was so strong and stubborn, so dangerous that even death feared him, my breath still hitched at the thought of losing him.
“There’s no need for fear,” he said softly and kissed the crown of my head. “Don’t you know I’m the monster all other monsters fear?”
I smiled although I felt no humor in the way he teased, even if I knew he did it for my benefit.
“Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
I pulled back and looked up at him. I wanted the demons to stay firmly in the shadows. Yet I didn’t want to ever look over my shoulder and worry someone would take me away from Arlo. And the only way to ensure our future was secure and our relationship stronger than ever was to have more bloodshed and bury the bodies of the past.
God, who was the woman I’d become, one who was okay with killing to ensuremylife was safe?
A survivor. I’m a survivor, and I’ll do anything to make sure I stay by Arlo’s side.
After one more kiss, he led me out of the hotel room and down to the BMW that had been waiting for us at the airstrip once we landed. I didn’t have to give Arlo any information about Henry or my father, and he’d never asked. Whatever connections he had, Arlo had obviously gotten the details he needed, and that was clear as we left the Strip and headed to Fremont Street.
The older part of Vegas came into view, a relic of the past yet still popular to tourists in the way they held on to a memento from a different time. But soon that facade started to wane the deeper we drove, the farther we went into the gritty part of what the city offered, where buildings were dilapidated, businesses run-down, broken windows and broken-down lives, with half-naked women standing on the corner of streets, smoking cigarettes and suggestively asking for “company tonight.”
