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“Jessie, I—” Nic glances up at me with those bedroom eyes, but instead of continuing, he surges to his feet. The moment his lips ghost over mine, I lose it. My orgasm rips through me and I cry out at the strength of it, my entire body lighting up, my hips bucking and my feet slipping.
I fall back onto the bed, or Nic pushes me, my thighs clasping tight to hold the vibrator in place a little longer as waves of pleasure crash over me. Throughout, he’s right there, above me, staring into my eyes. The expression on his face is soft, full of awe and warmth, and I wonder how he sees me right now. What he feels.
Nic gathers me into his arms and lifts me to the head of the bed, his body hard and warm against mine as he kisses my neck. “That was beautiful. Thank you.”
“You?” I can’t form the whole sentence, but I can feel his erection against my thigh, slippery from lube, so I point in the general direction. “Why not?”
“I want to play with you first,” he says.
And he does. He holds me until I’m ready, then he retraces my every move with the toy, reading my body like a goddamn expert, edging me until I’m begging. He’s gentle and careful when he fucks me with it, doing exactly what I tell him to do.
It’s perfect.
He kisses me while I come, and I’m still shaking as he shifts, pumping his fist fast, painting my tits with his cum before collapsing next to me again, holding me tight, kissing me and telling me how much he loved that.
My brain latches onto the fact that he loves ‘that,’ not me, but I’m too tired to digest it.
Nic has to carry me to the shower. He helps me wash off, towel dries me after, and pulls another one of his shirts over my head. We crawl into bed and collapse in each other’s arms.
I’m exhausted, my body so thoroughly satisfied, but I can’t fall asleep. My brain is a snow globe, and I’ve been shaken.
I love Nic.
It’s just sex.
I don’t want him to leave.
All swirling around until I feel like I might explode.
Nic talks in his sleep. He slurs his words enough that I can’t be certain, but I think he might be running through his lines from the last Warwick movie.
It’s fucking endearing.
It hurts.
Every minute that passes, I love him more than the last and each one is a paper cut to my already-bruised heart. I’m not sure what will be left of me at the end. I need to be unaffected when he goes—no one can see this heartbreak because I want him to come back, I want him to be welcomed back—but I’m not sure I can do that anymore.
The smart thing would be to leave early. I don’t need to stay the full two weeks just because it’s a family tradition. I’m only a couple of hours away—it’s not like I can’t visit anytime. Except I want to spend more time with my twin, I’m enjoying getting to know Mina, and I never see Amanda, Hazel, and the kids as much as I want to. I should stay through New Year’s, as planned.
It’s going to be a shitty New Year once Nic is gone.
Chapter twenty-nine
Nic
December Twenty-sixth
Lastnightwasintense,so I’m not surprised to wake up alone. A little space might be good for us.
Jessie’s painting in the attic. I bring her a cup of coffee, but she barely acknowledges me. Maybe I need the reminder that this is just sex for her, even if it’s something more for me. What that something more is, I have no clue.
After breakfast in the kitchen with Amanda, Hazel, and the kids, I play pool with Timothy. Mina and Liam join us for the second game.
Jessie’s still painting.
Timothy breaks out some Nerf guns, and it’s me and Liam versus him and Evie but it turns out we’ve all underestimated William, who pulls a blaster out from under a throw pillow and nails each of us while barely glancing up from his book. Liam and Evie dish out the payback while Timothy and I watch and laugh.
Jessie comes down for lunch, speaks to no one, and disappears back into the attic with a sandwich.
