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“No.”
Mina takes a tiny step toward me and reaches out. “Nic—”
“I don’t love her!”
My voice echoes and for a moment there’s nothing but the pounding of my pulse in my skull and I wince, raising my hand to my head.
“Oh, honey.”
There’s pity in Celia’s tone as she walks into the foyer. Amanda is with her. William too. But their expressions are closed.
“If you’re going to lie to yourself,” Celia says, “you should go.”
I glance at Amanda, but she looks away. When I turn to William, he nods and puts a hand on Celia’s shoulder.
“No,” Mina says, stepping between me and everyone. “We can fix this, they just need to talk—”
“Let it go, baby,” Timothy says, pushing past his parents and older sister. “Nic needs to decide for himself what he wants, and there’s no place like the Fortress of Purgatory to reflect on all your fuckups.”
I can read it in his eyes. I’m not welcome here anymore. There’s no redemption for the hurt I’ve caused.
“It is an ugly house,” Mina mutters.
“Hideous.” Amanda agrees.
Celia makes a sound that might be a suppressed snicker, but it could be a sob. “We love you, honey, but go sort your shit.”
I go.
At the airport, I open the family group chat. I’ve been a part of it since the day Amanda formed it. I’ve seldom contributed, but it’s been there when I’ve been lonely. Amanda and Hazel posting pictures of the kids doing various sports, Celia filling the chat with recipes and memes, Timothy lobbing chaos, and William’s occasional dry remark. Jessie’s snark.
I type what I should’ve said when I walked out the door.
Take care of her.
Me
Then I leave the chat.
Chapter thirty-three
Jessie
I’mheartbrokenandhungover.Timothy made me breakfast before he went back home, but other than that, I haven’t left the nest I’ve built on the couch. But I have my phone and I’ve been texting with Lauren. I filled her in on everything. She’s been supportive, even offering to come back to the city early to keep me company. I turned her down. For now, I’d rather be alone.
Let’s FaceTime and watch Love on the Line and talk shit about it. It’s the perfect distraction.
Lauren
I could use a distraction, and our cousin Ashley is this season’s villain on the popular reality TV show.
Let’s do it.
Me
I venture from my nest long enough to secure popcorn and a cup of tea. Lauren video calls me as I’m settling back in.
“I haven’t seen Ashley in at least ten years,” I say as I cue up the first episode. “You?”
