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“We’re good as just friends,” I say, and my buds all nod in understanding. Not one of them try to argue and that tells me that I’m right about it.
I keep an eye on the time because when I invited Lilly to hang with us, she accepted with the caveat she couldn’t stay out too late since she has to be at the deli at six a.m.
We say our goodbyes to my teammates shortly after midnight and I make the short drive across the Ohio River into the West End Village where Lilly lives and works. The streets are nearly empty as I pull into the back alley and park in the spot next to her car. There’s a porch light on at the top of the staircase but the rest of the alley is dark.
“I’ll walk you up,” I say as I turn off my Porsche and exit the car.
“You don’t have to,” Lilly says as she scrambles out and shuts the door. “You’ve done more than enough for me tonight.”
I grin at her over the hood as she walks my way since the driver’s door is near the staircase. “Although we haven’t known each other long, I feel like I know you well enough to sayshut up.”
Lilly barks out a laugh. “That is true.”
We trudge up the stairs together, the worn wood treads groaning. I wonder how old this thing is and vow to take a closer look the next time I’m here in the daylight.
Which means I’ve already assumed I’m going to be a part of the Hoffmans’ lives to the extent I’ll be returning to their apartment.
Lilly pulls her keys from her purse when we reach the landing but turns to me before unlocking the door. “I really cannot thank you enough for tonight, Boone. It was such a special treat.”
My heart feels full. “I bet you forgot what it was like to just go out and have fun.”
Her smile slides a little as she ducks her head. “There was nothing to forget.”
I frown at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Lilly looks around as if she’s trying to come up with the right words. When her gaze locks back with mine, she says, “Going out, having fun, having a group of friends where we just laughed… I never really had that.”
“Never?”
Lilly leans against the door and shakes her head. “Not having a mom, Aiden getting sick, having a dad who might or might not be awake to open the deli… there just wasn’t time for me to develop relationships. Not long-term ones anyway.”
I lean my elbow on the railing of the small landing and tuck my other hand in my pocket. “Not even like a best girlfriend who was by your side? An understanding boyfriend?”
“There were those who I thought were a best friend or an understanding boyfriend over the years. But you can only cancel plans so many times before people give up on you. I had nothing of value to give.”
My chest aches for Lilly. She gave so much to her family that she had nothing left to give anyone else. All relationships need nurturing and I understand what she’s saying. She couldn’t give more of herself to make it worthwhile for other people to stick with her.
It makes me curious enough to ask. “The deli… are you running that because you want to or because you have to?”
“I love that deli.” Her expression is apologetic. “I do. But it’s not my dream.”
“And what is your dream? What would you do if you didn’t have to take care of the deli?”
“College,” she replies without hesitation. “I’m not sure exactly what I want to do, but I want the opportunity to be exposed to things I can’t experience stuck on this block or in the hospital. I suppose that sounds selfish.”
I can’t help myself. My hand comes out of my pocket and takes hers. “Not selfish at all to want to fulfill a dream. And you’ll be able to. Aiden’s transplant is working, your dad is going to get sober… you’re about two seconds away from getting to reach for the stars.”
Lilly looks at me with hope in her eyes. “You make me almost believe that.”
“Let’s not hypothesize,” I say, moving down two steps and taking a seat on the landing. I pat the area next to me. “I know it’s late, but sit and let’s figure out something.”
Lilly plops beside me, laughing. “Figure out what?”
“The top five things you would do tomorrow if Aiden were cancer-free and your dad was sober.”
“Wow,” Lilly says, crossing her arms on her legs and tipping her head back to look at the sky. A plume of frosty air blows from her mouth—I forgot how chilly it is tonight. I shrug out of my wool pea coat and drape it over her shoulders. She glances at me and smiles shyly. “Thanks.”
“Okay… five things,” I say, getting her back on track. “Doesn’t have to be in order of importance. And… go.”
