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I bolt out of the chair and race for the door. My dad calls out in alarm, “Lilly!”
I ignore him and cut left, coming out of the door too quickly, slamming my shoulder against it. I bounce off and don’t feel any pain because my heart is broken and it hurts more than I ever expected.
I run with tears blinding me. It’s still fairly quiet on the ward without many people in the halls. Ahead at the nurses’ station, I see Boone talking to one of them but I cut right.
He too calls out to me, “Lilly!”
I run as fast as I can, arms pumping, right past the elevator bank to the end of the hall where the door to the stairwell looms. My hands slam onto the handle hard and the door crashes open against the wall. I start an immediate descent, rocketing so fast I’m in acute danger of taking a fall. I don’t care though. Part of me hopes I trip, hurtle end over end and break my neck. Anything to end the agony growing exponentially in the center of my chest. A weird sound starts to warble in my throat and I swallow it, afraid it will turn into a horrific scream. I vaguely hear footsteps chasing me from behind.
“Lilly,” Boone calls, my name echoing against the concrete steps and walls. “Slow down before you hurt yourself.”
I hold on to the rail as I push myself faster, using my other hand to wipe tears from my eyes. It seems like it takes no time at all for me to reach the bottom floor and I’m bursting out of the door, startling two doctors walking by. One snaps at me to watch where I’m going but I ignore them too. They mean nothing to me.
Sprinting across the lobby, the night receptionist, Connie, calls out to me in concern. She sees my tear-ravaged face, the anguish in my expression and the fact I’m running through the hospital like the devil is on my ass, and she knows.
Connie calls out, but it’s one of apology and regret. “Oh, Lilly.”
I have to slide to a semi-halt to let the sliding doors open and then I’m out on the sidewalk, protected from the pouring rain by the overhang. The children’s hospital is in the city and I turn right, running down the sidewalk. The early-morning rush hour is starting but hardly anyone is walking due to the rain. I’m soaked within seconds as I run and run and run.
There’s an intersection ahead and the Don’t Walk sign is in my favor. I push forward, not willing to halt for the cars but then something clamps on my arm and I’m stopped.
It’s Boone. I know this from the second he touches me and I’m neither mad nor relieved he thwarted my getaway. I let him turn me into his strong arms and wrap me in an all-encompassing hug.
We stand there in the pouring rain and while moments ago all I wanted to do was escape, it’s the strength of Boone’s arms and the promise he made to Aiden that he would care for me that keeps me in place.
Besides… I made a promise to Aiden too. I told him it was okay to let go and he did. All my grief is for myself, not him.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Boone whispers over and over again, layering kisses on my soaked head.
I hear the tears in his voice and I squeeze him hard. He’s hurting too.
“It’s for the best,” I say, needing to give my thoughts a voice. I need to reassure myself it was okay to let go.
“For the best,” he agrees.
“It was so beautiful,” I sob against his chest. “I told him to let go, and he did. I felt him leave. Did you feel it?”
“I felt it,” he assures me. “And it was, indeed, beautiful. We were lucky to bear witness to it, Lilly. Not sure anything will ever be more special in my life.”
I nod my head furiously against him, because yes… that was a miracle to witness. That little boy stuck in a broken body with the spirit and fire to hang on longer, but he just… let go.
He took the brave leap and now he’s gone.
CHAPTER 34
Boone
Isettle backonto the stone bench just delivered yesterday and watch Lilly as she places flowers at the base of Aiden’s headstone. It’s a warm June day and the birds are singing in the shade trees that dot the rolling hills of the cemetery where he was laid to rest three weeks ago.
The bench is courtesy of the Titans’ organization. It’s hand-carved of the same Pennsylvania bluestone that the Titans’ memorial was made from, which was an incredibly thoughtful gesture Brienne Norcross orchestrated.
The headstone is simple with just Aiden’s name, his date of birth, his date of death, and the words “Free at last” underneath.
This isn’t the first time we’ve visited the grave. It’s close to the deli and Lilly comes here a lot, with and without me.
There’s been nothing easy about losing Aiden. While I didn’t have the same emotional connection to him that Lilly and Steven had, what little I’d forged left a fucking crater inside me when he died. He’d been through so much and was defying all the odds, only to be snatched away from us in what seemed like the blink of an eye.
I have marveled over Lilly’s strength. Or maybe the right word isresiliencebecause on that early morning when Aiden died, I saw her break in half, and there were days following that I wasn’t sure she’d come back together correctly. That week after is a blur. Steven couldn’t hold it together and hit the bottle hard the day Aiden died. I found him in their apartment when I brought Lilly there after we visited the funeral home, passed out on the couch and coated in vomit.
