AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I came to apologize.” He turns back to me slowly. His gaze flows over me, from the crown of my head to my bare feet and backagain. There’s something in his dark eyes that I can’t quite define, but he shields it from me before I can figure it out. “I know it’s far too little, too late, but I’m sorry that you were harmed because of my actions. I was a selfish little prick, and it never occurred to me that you might be in any danger when Zeus asked me for that favor.”
“Would it have made a difference?” It’s the question that’s lingered through all these months, that’s caused me to lose more sleep than I’ll ever admit. Orpheus is selfish and conceited and occasionally cruel, but he was never violent. Then again,hewasn’t the one who committed violence against me. Zeus’s man did. Would Orpheus condone that if he thought it would feed his ambition and get him closer to the most powerful person in Olympus?
His eyes fly to mine. “Of course it would have made a difference.” He sounds genuinely shocked I’m even asking. I don’tthinkhe’s lying, but I can’t quite be sure. Orpheus scrubs a hand over his face. “This won’t earn me any points, but after your sister made a public fool of Zeus, I honestly thought all he wanted was to be photographed with you and use that to draw her back to the upper city.”
I blink. “Surely you can’t be that much a fool. You know where you told me to meet you.” I shake my head, my heart sinking. “And even if you thought Zeus was the one meeting me, you know how he was with women.” A monster. It’s common knowledge that he most likely murdered all three of his wives, and he committed violence against no small number of women less powerful than him.
In Olympus, everyone is less powerful than Zeus.
That man is gone, fallen to his death from the top of Dodona Tower, and his son seems to be cut of slightly different cloth. Still amonster, but not one who hurts those weaker than himself. At least not without cause.
I shake my head again, trying to focus. “Gods, Orpheus.”
“I know.” He sinks onto the couch and hangs his head. “I fucking know. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m not asking for it. I’m here to give you whatever closure you need. I just…I don’t know how to do it beyond apologizing.”
The front door opens before I can form a reply. Charon steps inside, his gaze flicking between me and Orpheus. He passes me my clothes. “Here.”
As much as I want to escape this situation, I don’t quite trust them to be alone together. I yank on my panties and jeans. That will have to do. I feel slightly more centered once I have pants on. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”
I don’t know what Iwantto say.
Every time I look at him, it hurts, but that’s not the only thing I feel. Something strums in my chest, a feeling of rightness that only seems to come when we’re in the same room. It doesn’t matter how much he hurt me, because that damned connection is still there. I thought for certain it would be gone, that I would have exorcised it along with all the other parts of me I can no longer stand.
It’s not gone.
If anything, it’s stronger than before.
“You don’t have to say anything.” Orpheus pushes slowly to his feet. I’ve never seen him look so defeated. His shoulders are bowed and his head down. “Like I said, I’m not here to ask anything of you. I’ve said what I came here to say. If at some point you want or need more, all you have to do is ask. We can talk or you can yellat me or whatever you need.” He drags in a breath and glances at Charon. “More than that, I’m…I’m glad you’re happy, Eurydice. I really am. Even if it’s not with me.”
I don’t know what’s happening to my chest. There’s an awful fluttering, wrenching feeling that only gets worse as he starts for the door. If he walks through it now, this ends for good. That’s what I thought I wanted, but now that it’s happening, I’m panicking. “Wait.”
Charon goes still. It’s the same almost predatory lack of movement as last night. He doesn’t contradict me though. He just looks at me and waits for whatever I’m about to say.
Orpheus is doing the same, but somehow it’s so much worse. He’s never been that good at hiding what he’s feeling, and right now there’s a blossoming hope in his eyes that only makes the feeling in my chest worse. I can’t give him my heart again. Ican’t.
But I…don’t want him to walk out that door—or out of my life.
Apparently I really am a fool who never learns from her mistakes. It’s the only explanation, because this man may have brought me great joy, but he’s also brought me the greatest sorrow of my life. I should behappyto see the last of him.
Instead, I find myself repeating, “Wait.” I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know what else I want, just that I can’t let him leave. Not yet. “Please.”
Orpheus turns more fully to face me. “Whatever you want, Eurydice.”
Whatever I want.
That’s the ridiculous part of this. I don’t know what I want. Once upon a time, I thought I did. I thought it would be him and mefor the rest of our lives. Marriage. Children. Growing old together, surrounded by family. Riding the edges of the waves of power in this city without actively engaging with them.
I realize those were naive dreams. Orpheus had always had his sights set on something more than a mundane life. He wouldn’t have sacrificed me if that weren’t true.
But I can’t quite release those dreams. Even with our history. Even with Charon here, watching us with an unreadable expression on his face.
He’s the one who moves first. Of course he is. If left to our own devices, I have no doubt Orpheus and I would stand here all night, staring at each other and unable to say the words tangling up inside us. I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know what I need, but there’s a part of me that longs to lash out at him, to hurt him the way he hurt me. Just like there’s another part of me that doesn’t want him to ever leave.
Charon steps between us. “It’s late. Take the couch, Orpheus. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Orpheus opens his mouth, seeming about to argue, but finally nods. “Yeah. Sure. Okay.”
I don’t resist as Charon presses a hand to the small of my back and guides me down the hall to his room. I’ve been here dozens of times over the last couple months. He technically has a room in the main house, but he likes a little privacy at times, and he gave me an open invitation to stay here whenever I like. Whether he’s present or not.
