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Not that anyone knows it.
I look around, my guilt flaring for a completely different reason. I’ve been in my brother-in-law’s sex club quite a few times in the last couple months. I have no doubts that Hades is aware of it, though I’m careful to only show up when I know he and Persephone won’t be presiding over the activities.
This is the first time I’ve come alone.
It feels weird not to have Charon as my ever-present shadow. He wouldn’t have approved of tonight’s attendance, so I snuck out without telling anyone where I was going. The club manager, Hypnos, has seen me around enough now that the bouncers didn’t stop me when I walked through the door. Zir doesn’t know my arrangement with Charon, which works well enough for me. Charon initially allowed me access to the club, with one caveat: I’m only allowed to watch. I suspect that rule originates from my sister and brother-in-law, but Charon is the one enforcing it.
But Charon isn’t here right now.
The room is a true den of iniquity, all artfully designed to seduce the senses. The lights are always low when the club is open, but a cleverly hidden waterway around the edge of the room throws dizzying reflections onto the ceiling, giving the impression of us being underground. I’ve seen the furniture arranged in a dozen different ways, but tonight it’s the traditional layout, with couches and chairs and cushions situated to allow plenty of space for conversation and, well, fucking.
I inhale the scent of sex and smooth my hands down my tight minidress. My body thrums in response. It’s been…so long. There’s joy to be had in watching though, and I’ve learned a lot about the shape of desire and kink in general in the last nine months. But it’s all in theory. I haven’t participated. Truthfully, I haven’t wanted to. For a long time, I was focused on putting one foot in front of the other and not letting the pain of Orpheus’s betrayal break me.
But now?
I look around the room. I have a free night and no supervision. Maybe it’s time to turn some of my fantasies into reality. To stopthinkingabout healing and attempt that first step.
“I’ve seen you around, always watching, never participating.”
I jolt and turn to find a man has taken up a spot against the wall next to me. He’s a very attractive South Asian man who’s about my height with a slim build and smiling eyes. He also looks incredibly familiar, and not just because I’m sure I’ve seen him a few times during my visits here.
He holds out a hand. “Thanatos.”
Recognition clicks as I slip my hand into his. “You’re Hypnos’sbrother.” Now that I say it, I see the similarities between him and zir. Same medium-brown skin tone, thick dark hair, and refined features. They also both have incredibly sensual lips. Not that I’ve noticed. Except I have.
“Guilty as charged.” Instead of shaking my hand, he raises it to press a light kiss to my knuckles. It should be cheesy, but his dark eyes invite me to indulge him.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I find myself smiling as heat stirs to life low in my stomach. It’s been so long since I’ve evenwantedto indulge… No, that’s a lie. But it’s been a very long time since I’ve encountered someone who was safe to indulge with. Someone I could spend a fun night with and not worry about shattering a relationship I value in the process.
Thanatos lifts his head but doesn’t release my hand. He holds me in a light grip I could break at any moment, heat licking into his dark eyes. “It strikes me that you haven’t had a proper introduction to the delights of the club.”
He’s flirting with me. I don’t know why that surprises me so much. I suppose I’ve become so used to blending into the background that I expect it to be the default.It certainly is with Charon. The man treats me kindly, but it’s clear he’s never felt the same flicker of desire that plagues me in his presence.Not just desire. You care about him. If you weren’t so broken, you’d let yourself love him.
It might have been nine months since Orpheus took part in the events that led to the night that’s caused scars on my soul, but I’m nowhere near ready enough to jump into a relationship again. Even if Charon was interested, which he’s never given any indication thathe is. But if hewas, it wouldn’t be casual. He doesn’t do casual any more than I do.
Thanatos isn’t asking for my heart. He’s not asking for anything at all right now. I take a slow breath, inhaling the evocative scent of his cologne. He’s still holding my hand. I find myself smiling. “By all means. Introduce me.”
His grin is bright and charming. “It would be my pleasure.”
I ignore the guilt that clings to me as he leads me to an empty couch near the wall farthest from the door. I’m not certain if it’s intentional or not, but I appreciate the sliver of privacy the location offers. There’s an unspoken rule that what goes on here isn’t shared outside these walls unless my sister and her husband wish it to be so, but that doesn’t mean I want to risk the gossip getting back tothem.
They wouldn’t understand. Oh, maybe Hades would, but Persephone? Never. To her, I’m her baby sister to be protected at all costs. She never stops to think that maybe the blanket of protection she and our other sisters provide is suffocating me slowly. If she knew I was here alone, she would sweep in with all the rage of a vengeful goddess to strike down anyone who dared look at me.
And should theytouchme?
Unthinkable.
Except Thanatos is touching me now. He sits close enough that we’re pressed together and turns over my hand to trace the fine veins of my wrist with the tips of his fingers. “You’ve been here many times in the last few months.”
I lift my brows. “Have you been watching me?”
He shrugs, completely unselfconscious. “Everyone watches you,Eurydice, and not just because you’re beautiful.” His fingers trail up to the inside of my elbow. “You’re absolutely captivating.”
I’m aware that he’s trying to seduce me. He might not be the one I want if I’m being truly honest with myself, but what’s the harm in allowing myself to be seduced? He has kind eyes. Maybe what I need to get over Orpheus once and for all isn’t a great love to sweep away everything that came before. Maybe what I need is a string of kind lovers who don’t stir my heart but are more than capable of stirring my body.
Thanatos certainly is doing a good job of it. His touch isn’t anything that would be inappropriate in another public setting, but I find myself holding my breath as he continues to trace light patterns over my skin, each sending a zing of desire through me.
I relax slowly against the back of the couch and look up at him. “You’re quite captivating yourself.”
