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That happened.
Yeah…it happened. I didn’t return the favor—damn me! But it happened. Barrett wrapped his arm around me when we were talking about his brothers. He said we were friends, and then I gave him that little kiss—a friendly kiss—and it made him go crazy.
Not just me.
Barrett, too.
I remember his big body stretched over mine. The way he shook. How tight his face was, and him saying it had been a long time.
Glee loses ground to guilt.
I need to find him and return the favor! I can’t let this stand.
I toss the quilt off and discover I’m naked from the waist down.
“Damn.” I can’t stop a grin from spreading across my face as I hop down off the window seat. I shimmy into my leggings, do a little walk around the room, and feel my stomach flip as I look at the ladder.
Go get him!
I start down the ladder, then turn back around for my phone, which I find on the window seat. I check the time and am stunned to find it’s almost 1 a.m.
Oh God. I’m a taker. Shame heats up my neck and face.
I wasn’t even tired. Barrett was. I could see and feel how tired he was. I can’t freaking believe I let him get me off and then I fell asleep. I start down the ladder, praying I’ll find him asleep in his room. Preferably with his dick in hand.
His room is empty.
My chest feels tight as I descend the stairs. My feet feel heavy. This is so like me. Falling all over myself around him since we met, and then we get together and I screw it up.
I swallow hard as tears well in my eyes.
It’s not as if I’m such a catch, either.
That evil part of me… She’s hard to argue with.
I step into the den and find dying embers winking in the fireplace. He wanted me. He wanted me. I almost say it aloud, but then I notice the dark curtains over to my left. They’re drawn over the slider door, the one that leads onto the stilted deck. I’ve never seen them shut before. I step closer and I feel a rush of cool air.
Because the door is slightly open.
I creep more closely to it, peel the curtain back, and—
“Oh.”
It’s just a squeak. My hand covers my mouth as I blink at the glass door. Someone hit it. Someone—Barrett—hit it hard enough to dent it. There’s a fist-sized circle appearing white from all the little cracks, and all around it, thinner cracks ripple out.
He punched the door. Tonight? I try to remember whether the curtains were shut when we arrived here, but I can’t.
Then it doesn’t matter. I see movement on the deck: Barrett. He turns his head, and as I wrap my hand around the door handle, he steps over and pushes it open with his big arm, stepping inside in just jeans.
One of his hands is cradling his phone, and he looks somber. Tired.
“Barrett. I can’t— I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—” Heat stings my cheeks. “I…fell asleep.”
He blinks. “I let you sleep.” He slides his phone into his back pocket and takes a few steps past me. Then he looks over his shoulder. “I can walk you home now.”
“No…” I look into his eyes, expecting them to soften. “I want to…return the favor.” I step closer to him, giving him a little smile and reaching for his arm. “I wanted to so much, I can’t believe I didn’t. You… I was so tired after. I want to do it now, if you want. Then maybe you’ll be sleepy too.”
His face hardens. I feel like a fish on sand. “I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. Let’s go to your room, and then I can walk home.”
