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I’ve been sitting in my room for hours now. People have knocked on my door and I’ve ignored them all. With Calla’s rag in my hands, I keep trying to call her over and over again. I know there’s no point in going to the house because I can’t get in. We’ve been so focused on everything else, especially me, that I haven’t had time to get a key made for the house. Knowing Calla the way I do, she not only made sure both doors in the house were locked but I can guarantee every fucking window is now locked as well. I will have no access to the house until she’s ready to give it back to me again.
Other guys would have been pissed their woman almost ruined the plan and finding out the information the club was looking for. That’s not who I am. While I want to know who’s coming after my family, I would rather be honest with my wife than keep her in the dark about something concerning her. She’s obviously talked to Precious and heard her threats. She could have handled knowing what the club was asking me to do. Why I came home every fucking night in different clothes because I wasn’t going to taint our house with anything smelling like that skank downstairs.
As I sit on my bed and wallow in my misery, because that’s what I’m doing, there’s a knock on the door.
“Go the fuck away,” I yell out, not getting up to unlock the door.
“Shank, you’re gonna wanna fuckin’ hear this,” Boxer says, knocking again on the door to tell me he’s not gonna stop or go away.
Getting up, I walk over and unlock the door before ripping it open.
“What the fuck do you want, Boxer? I don’t want to see a single one of you fuckers for any reason,” I inform him, not sure what else to do to get that point across.
“Just overheard a conversation Precious was havin’ on her phone. Not the entire conversation, just the tail end of it. She’s definitely got a guy on the outside and he’s a member of a club. Not sure which club, but she said somethin’ about becomin’ his ol’ lady once this job was done. Or goin’ back to bein’ his ol’ lady. Not really sure which. Zeus can pull it up on the cameras when I go talk to him. Her man isn’t the one pullin’ the strings on this shit though. Someone else is involved. A woman. Not sure who she is or how Precious knows her, but she’s the one gettin’ the bitch to do all this shit and try to get in close to you. Don’t be surprised if she starts askin’ to see Zane. Whatever plan they have involves him,” Boxer tells me, anger filling his face as I stumble back with the knowledge someone else is coming after my son.
“What the fuck!” I scream out, rage filling me to the point I’m about to explode. “Where the fuck is she, Boxer. I want her in the basement right the fuck now and someone gettin’ answers from her. Make that shit happen.”
“Let Zeus pull up the entire footage so we can see if any names are dropped and we’ll go from there, Shank. I know you don’t wanna wait and I don’t want to make you wait. This time, waitin’ is the right answer. The more we know, the easier it will be to protect Zane from whoever’s after him. We can also find out what the end game is for Calla. None of us know that. I’m gonna make sure someone follows that bitch if she leaves the clubhouse too. One of us will know where she’s at always until we know what’s goin’ on. Trust me, Shank,” Boxer says, pleading with me to give him the chance to put things in place before we move forward.
“My family gets hurt more than they already have and none of you will ever fuckin’ see me again. That’s a promise I’ll fuckin’ keep. I’ll turn in my cut and won’t even go to Judge’s chapter. I’ll wait my year and join some other club as far from here as I can get,” I promise my best friend knowing it’s the truth. “You managed to forgive us after a long time. I won’t forgive a single fuckin’ one of you for this shit. I’m already on the verge of not doin’ it because Calla’s the one who got hurt tonight. Not anyone else but her. And I can’t be there with her to comfort her, talk to her, or anythin’ else because not a single fuckin’ one of you stood the fuck up for me when Lash sent down his order and demands.”
Boxer nods his head at me in response before leaving my room. Once again, I slam the door behind him and make sure it’s locked before heading in to take a shower. The only thing left for me to do is try to get some sleep so I can have a clear mind in the morning. I want to talk to my wife and set things right between us. In order to do that, I need to think clearly and formulate a plan to get her to open the door and talk to me. I’m not about to put my faith in Lash actually following through on anything he says to me or anyone else in the club. Fuck him and everyone else around here!
Chapter Seventeen
TURING MY PHONE back on when I wake up, it starts going insane. One notification after another sounds alerting me to someone trying very hard to get ahold of me both by message and voicemails. Opening up my messages, I find I’ve got multiple from Billy, a few from Hartley, and even a message or two from Jaelyn. There’s a message from an unknown number in there as well. I don’t bother looking at any of them, though I am interested in knowing who the unknown number is. I’ll check it eventually. Right now, I just want to lounge in bed. My body feels as if I’ve been run over more than once by a Mack truck and there’s nothing I can do to take away the aches and pain. My eyes even hurt from crying so hard most of the night. I didn’t get very much sleep and I’m already ready to go back to bed. However, I’ve got a son I need to take care of and he's the only important person in my world right now.
Getting out of bed, I go through my morning routine with the exception of taking a shower. Since I have nowhere to be and nothing to do today, there’s no reason for me to take one right now. Especially when I’d rather get in the large tub in my bathroom and soak the aches away. I won’t be able to get rid of the pain considering my heart is still breaking from the events of the last few days. When I did eventually fall asleep, I was constantly woken up by the visions in my head of another woman touching my husband. He might not have been touching her, but Billy sure as fuck wasn’t pushing her away either.
Heading out of my room, I check on Zane who’s still asleep in his bed with the covers twisted all around his body. Leaving him to continue sleeping for a little longer, I head downstairs to make him some breakfast. With my phone in hand, I put on Hold On by Chord Overstreet. I want sad songs to go with my mood today. That’s my thing. I listen to sad songs, watch movies that make me cry, and read books that will break my heart when it’s already broken. I did it when I left Billy behind seven years ago and I’ll do it again now until I can move forward with my life.
I want to be able to move on this time. To let Billy go and not have the memories assault me when I close my eyes or see something that reminds me of Billy in one way or another. I want to get through each day as it comes and eventually get to a point where I can find myself someone to share this life with. Someone who will understand Billy will always be around because of Zane. Would I rather spend my days with Billy at my side? Absolutely. However, I won’t come second to the club and I’m sure as hell not going to sit home while he’s at the clubhouse with the Rebels. I won’t let a man cheat on me just to keep him in my life. I deserve better than that and I won’t tolerate anyone treating me like shit when I had to live through hell for so long.
As I’m cooking Zane’s eggs and toast, I get another notification on my phone. Looking at the screen, it’s the unknown number again. Pulling it up, I read the two messages I have waiting for me from this person.
Unknown: Calla, this is Lash. We need to talk. What you saw last night wasn’t actually what you saw. Please get a hold of me so we can meet up and I can tell you what was happening.
Unknown: Please call me. Shank is ready to leave here for good and I need to make this situation right. I’m the reason you’re heartbroken and it’s up to me to make amends and set things right.
Me: I’m not part of the club, Lash. I’ve never been part of the club as anything more than Billy’s wife. He’s free to live his life as he pleases and I don’t need an explanation of what happened last night. Forget all about me. The only time I’ll ever be there is to drop Zane off to see his dad. Thank you for letting us stay there when everything happened. It’s time for everyone to move on with their lives.
Setting my phone down, I debate turning it back off because I really don’t want to talk to anyone or hear what anyone has to say. The only reason Lash is doing this is because of Shank. He wants to make sure he keeps one of his club members here. Though, I’m not really sure what he means when saying that Billy is ready to leave for good. He wouldn’t leave his son behind after missing out on so much of his life already. So, confusion fills me. However, it’s not up to me to worry about what happens with any of them any longer. I have my life and everyone there has a life together. They’re a big family and it was nice to see them be one for a few weeks. Even if I remained on the edge of the group the entire time.
Getting Zane’s plate together, I make sure he’s got juice and some bacon to go with his eggs and toast. Going up to his room to get him, I carry my son down to the table with him still half asleep. The second Zane is sitting in his chair at the table, he looks around. My heart breaks because he’s looking around for his dad. There hasn’t been a morning where we haven’t all sat down to breakfast together since moving in here from the clubhouse. Until today.
“Where’s Daddy?” Zane asks me as he starts eating his breakfast.
“He’s at the clubhouse. He had an early meeting or something,” I lie to my son so he doesn’t know anything is going on between us. “I think he’s getting ready to take a trip or needs to be there for a little while. He might not be here for breakfast every morning, little man. That doesn’t mean I can’t take you to the clubhouse to see him though.”
“Okay, Mama,” he responds, accepting my words for truth instead of the lie they are.
I feel horrible for lying to my son. I’m just not sure what else to tell him. He doesn’t need to know there’s anything going on between the two of us. I should have listened to my head and not rushed into this shit with Billy. We could have taken our time and lived separately while he was still getting to know his son and me again. While I got to know him again. Now, I have to go through a divorce and eventually tell Zane what’s going on between the two of us in a way he’ll understand. Not my finest moment in life.
As Zane finishes his breakfast and heads up to change into clothes for the day, there’s a knock on my door. Sucking in a deep breath, I hold it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly and heading for the door. Looking out the small window, I find Hartley and Lash standing on my small porch. Lash goes to knock again as I start to unlock the door and open it for them. I don’t open it far because I’m not sure if I’ll be inviting them in. For now, they’re welcome to stand on the porch because I don’t need any more negative energy in my house than what’s already been in there with my father.
“What can I do for you?” I ask them, not making my tone sound gentle and welcoming at all.
“Calla, we really need to talk,” Lash says, standing right next to his wife.
