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The sting burning behind my one eye reminds me of all the physical reasons. Maybe I wasn't appealing to her in any way. Not even my wealth, status, or way of life I could provide her mattered. Definitely not the way I look or the way we had sex was enough. But he was enough. He was enough to raise my son without me knowing he even existed.
A single angry tear betraying me snakes down my cheek, reaching the edge of my mask. "If she did or didn't, she went with him. She trusted him with her life and my son."
"The same way you told her everyone trusted their life with you. The way they counted on you and you would do anything to ensure their safety. With all due respect, Killian, who was ensuring hers? You?" Agnes's mouth pulls into a frown. "I hate to say it, Killian, but I don't blame her. She took a chance and asked whoever was willing to give it."
I nod. "She did."
"I'm sorry it wasn't you, Killian."
Looking around the room that was once mine and Killian's mother, I notice it smells like Killian. It feels lived in and not cold like I would have thought. My eyes scan the little bookshelf, surprised that everything is still there. I thought Killian would have gotten rid of my things if he thought I died. Erasing me from his life.
The bed is made but looks slept in.
I turn my head when I hear the door swing open, and the man I have been running away from appears, closing the door behind him.
His biceps are bigger than the last time I saw him. I can tell he has been working out and has put on a few pounds of muscle. I watch him remove his mask, giving me his back, and observe his muscles ripple with the effort.
"What are you doing in here?”
Placing the mask on the table, he removes his shirt. "What does it look like? I'm getting ready for bed."
"This is not your room."
He turns around, and my eyes follow the swirls of ink all over his skin, noticing the thin chain holding both our wedding rings around his neck.He kept them.They're his parents’ wedding rings. I shouldn’t think too much of it.
"This is our room. Now get in the shower, Lillith."
"No."
His lips lift, giving me a slight grin. "Okay."
Okay?Something is off.I don't like the glimmer in his eyes or the way he slides his gaze over my worn clothes. I take a step to the side toward the door.
I take another one, and then he rushes me. "Killian!" I yelp. He grabs me, lifting me over his shoulder. "Killian, what the hell?"
He places me in the shower with the water running warm. "You'remywife. I want you in the shower with me and in my bed. Our son is in the next room sleeping, and we have much to discuss. Lost time I plan on making up for, Lillith. Many nights without my cock inside you."
I look up, blinking away the spray of water falling over my face with a hot retort on the tip of my tongue, but I can't stop watching him peel the rest of his clothes off his perfect body.
My eyes fly to his face, where his prosthetic eye is getting wet, and I wonder if it will get ruined with so much water. He tilts his head with a grin, and I watch fascinated as it turns a dark color until it goes pitch black. I point. "Your eye."
"I had plenty of time to upgrade in your absence. I had a lot to think about since you jumped in the ocean. How could I have jumped after you without a water-resistant prosthetic eye? I'm your cyborg now."
He looks like man and machine merged into one. Like a droid. A very hot droid. But what now? He thinks I betrayed him with Ciro.
"What do you want?"
He lifts me from the shower floor and pins me to the wall. "I want you naked, Lillith," he growls. "I want to feel what I have missed." He slides his nose over my cheek and rasps, "But I have to ask, did he fuck you good? Was he better than me?"
His words slide over my wet skin with its jagged edges. Then his words the night of the race grip me in its vise. "I'm taken."
He's been taken since the day I showed up. Who knows how many since I've been gone, or maybe it's her. Blair. She was here the first day. The day in his office. On the boat. She was still there the night of the race. And he still has the balls to question me.
I lift my chin, blinking back the onset of tears from my bitter thoughts and feelings of the past. "I should ask you the same thing. Was Blair better the first time I saw you with her or the time I was waiting on you at dinner?" I release air from my lungs, making room for the feeling of hot coals in the pit of my stomach. I find my footing and push him away from me with my hands, relieved when he steps back. "We both know how much she's your favorite."
I step out of the shower and dry off, leaving him under the spray and hating myself for bringing up the past. He doesn't matter anymore, but it still hurts, and it weighs in my heart like a brick as I make my way to Niro's room.We were ill-fated from the start.
He could ask me a million times if I slept with Ciro, and I would never answer him. Why? Because I shouldn't answer a man who thought so little of me. A man who didn't think I deserved to live.
