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Xena: I'm sorry, Elena. I can't hide this from you, carnalita.
I sit in my Range Rover parked in the Cortez's driveway.
Two cars pull up. One black Mercedes. The second car is a classic. A black 64 Impala low rider that gleams from the spotlights.
I press play and watch the video. It's shot from a distance, but I make out Santi's black Ducati. I hear the blonde girl telling the guys she wants to get fucked by the Street Kings.
That's what they have been called since they started racing.
Tears blur, but I blink them away. Santi is fucking Bridgette––the blonde girl from the race the other night from behind while she is bent over on his bike behind an alleyway near the mall not far from where we were before we all left. They all take turns. The last part is when he shoves his dick in her mouth, and my brother… I swipe up and close my text message app.
My chest is tight. It feels like I can't breathe, like a heavy brick is on my chest, not letting me get enough air. Tears fall down my cheeks.
He did everything he could to make me hate him. To not want him. He brought a girl home to meet his mother. He fucked her blonde friend right after I left. The final nail in the coffin.
I sob." He doesn't want you, Elena. He says I'm a stalker, and he's right,” I whisper aloud.
I sniff, and my chest burns from trying not to cry. I've been holding back my tears all these years, replacing them with pain. Sobs rise like waves. One after the other.
His mother said to let him go, but how?
How do you stop being in love with someone who will be around you your whole life?
There is a hard tap on my window, and I jolt.
I lower the window.
"Elena?"
I squint, trying to catch my breath from crying. "Maxim?"
"Um... are you okay? Do you want me to get…"
"No, No. Please… I'm fine." I wipe my face with the blanket I still have in my lap. "I just saw something sad and needed to let it out." I fake smile, but he isn't convinced.
My eyes widened when I hear Santi with Evelyn and his father. I don't want Santi and Evelyn to see me cry. I shouldn't give a shit, but I don't want him to ever see me cry for him.
All I have left is my scrap of self-worth.
It means nothing to him, but the small ounce I have left is mine.
Maxim touches the top button of his flannel shirt, looks over his shoulder, and then back at me. I can see his handsome face through the blur of my tears.
"Maxim, please... I beg you. Don't let him see," I whisper through my tears. My nose is running down my chin.
I swear I can hear my heart breaking. It feels like shards cutting me inside, like death choking every breath from my body. All his words of hate echo in my head at once. I tried to suppress the feelings of hurt from the things he said he didn't like about me.
I've fallen so far and don't know where to go. My head hurts like the water from a kettle boiling to a scream.
"Elena, look at me,Preciosa." I look up. He does something no man has done and wipes his thumb under my cheeks, brings the pad of his thumb to his lips, and licks my tears. "My brother doesn't deserve you." He grips my chin gently with his forefinger."Sabes que? Don't cry for a man who never told you how beautiful you look when you smile." His face hardens. "Go home… before I kick my brother's ass all over this driveway, eh."
"Hey, Maxim. What's up with Elena?" I hear his father ask.
I place the car in drive.
Maxim does’t turn around when he answers, ''I was just…saying hi to Elena. It's been a while."
I raise my window and drive off with the pieces of my broken heart. But I'm to blame.
