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He knows I mean who I want to be with for the future.
"You can choose," he agrees. I get up and give him a hug.
"Gracias, Abuelo."
He clears his throat. "I'll tell your parents and his. It should come from me. How's school? Any trouble?"
"If they call about me, I kept the same classes but changed the times."
He frowns. "Why is that?"
"Santiago didn't like the idea… I had the same classes at the same times he did, "I say grimly.
"Hmm…" He scratches the grey stubble on his chin. "Did he say why?"
I glance at the Santa Muerte statue he has in the corner. My grandfather will not like what I say next. I don't want my grandfather to hate him or my father. All because I couldn't get the guy.
Santiago doesn't feel the same way about me, and he never will. Our first kiss meant nothing to him. My love didn't either. But I need to tell my grandfather what he said. What he thinks of me when I show up to his games and cheer for him.
I pray for him when he's about to race or at a party, and I want to be around him. To hear his laugh. The stories from his mom when he was a kid. Important moments in his life, but he finds me annoying. What he says to people about me when I'm around because he hates how I feel.
One word that lingers like a bad smell. A word that stings because it hurts. A word that can destroy the meaning of what it is to love someone too hard. It all flashes in my mind like a photo dumb of memories.
"He says I stalk him. He called me a stalker, and he let everyone know how he hated me being around him. How it's a problem with him and his hook-ups."
"Hook-ups meaning the girls he's fucking."
"Yes." I see my grandfather's jaw clench. The little tic by his jaw move at a rapid pace. "Please, don't hate him."
"You sound like your aunt. She said the same about your uncle Mase when she was your age but under different circumstances."
"Don't tell daddy he called me that. You asked, and you know I wouldn't lie to you."
"There are things we hide because we know it will hurt the ones we love. We hide what we don't want anyone else to see. Don't make me uncover yours, Elena."
I told him because I wanted to push Santiago Cortez out of my life. So no one would question how I felt. My grandfather is good at spreading the information to the right people. No one will question my motives. My choices for the future.
I have the freedom to choose, and this is the beginning of loving myself.
My grandfather gets up and hands me a duffel bag. "One million. Take it to Maxim and count it with him. He will take what he needs and send half in changed bills."
"That is all?"
"For now. He will give you instructions, and you will always listen to Maxim. He is in charge there. What he says goes. It's his turf, and he will protect you with his life." My grandfather smiles. "It's more like the other way around, but he doesn't need to know that.''
I pull up to the house of the east. It's a nice single-family home with green grass. It looks like a house you see in a TV show. Cookie cutter. It's painted white with a mowed lawn. It seems like a family of four lives here, and the husband cuts the grass every Sunday while his wife does the groceries, and he waits until she comes back to help her unload them from her Kia Sorrento.
I shut the driver's side door to my Range Rover and grab the duffel bag. It's heavy. I suspect one-hundred-dollar bills and some twenties.
The blue front door opens, and three Hillside Kings walk out, eyeing me suspiciously. "Who the fuck are you, eh? Who's your man?" The one in the middle points at the black bag. "I need to check the bag before I let you in?"
"No."
They draw their weapons. "Who are you saying no to?” He nods toward my Range Rover. "You're a long way from home?"
I take in their positions and how they are dressed. Flannel shirts with plain T-shirts underneath. Tube socks, white Nikesneakers, baggy khakis. It's three to one. All three have Glocks pointed at my head. I'll take my chances with the one in the middle and right. The one on the far left has a bad aim.
I drop the bag at my feet. "I said no.” My gaze shifts to the one on the right with the crown tattoo under his right eye. ''Which one of youpendejosare going to get Maxim for me?"
