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I looked up, and indeed, just a little distance away from me was his waiting Mercedes. It was unmistakable, and through the tinted windows, I could almost see him watching me, and it immediately changed my entire demeanor. I straightened my shoulders, wiped off the expression from my face, and then I nodded and ended the call. I started to head toward it, and as I went, I wondered if I could ever be completely free around him the way I wanted to be.
Sighing, I walked as quickly as I could, concluding that it wouldn’t matter anyway. Michael got out of his seat just then and I was a bit startled to see him opening the door for me. Itwas a bit unnecessary, but I thanked him anyway. His smile was gentle and kind, and I wondered if he knew about everything that had happened. He had to because there wouldn’t otherwise be a reasonable explanation why he was picking a second Sophie up from a different office and wearing a different outfit from what he had probably seen her with earlier that morning.
I sent him an apologetic look and got in, and the door was shut behind me. It was like being put in a trance. The familiar atmosphere, the sweet intoxicating scent, the warm commanding presence. All I could send his way was a glance, and then I busied myself in putting myself together.
“How are you?” he asked, his deep, calm voice resounding through the car. It was quiet and felt intimate, but I couldn’t tell if it was because everything about him always seemed amplified to me or if it was because his tone was just a bit higher than usual. Regardless, he sounded too close for comfort. I met his gaze again and nodded in response. We didn't say any further words and rode in silence until we arrived at the restaurant.
It was high-end but not alarmingly so. Definitely way out of my budget, but I wasn’t about to take him somewhere cheap when this conversation was about to be difficult and most likely concerning my abilities in taking care of the child. Or maybe he wanted a DNA test as soon as he or she was born to commit to it in whatever way.
Just thinking about this made me frown, but I had to admit that it would be a reasonable request. So, I stopped my emotions from getting riled up. Instead, as soon as the waiter took our orders, I looked him straight in the eye and said what I wanted to.
“If you want a DNA test,” I said, “I’m alright with you waiting until the baby is born before anything else. I have no problem whatsoever with this, so you don’t have to push yourself into doing something that you don’t really want to do. I mean what Isaid earlier at Sophie’s wedding. I was just sharing information with you. I have no expectations.”
After my statement, it almost felt as though it was just us two in the restaurant given how rapidly quiet everything became. He watched me, a somewhat darkened expression on his face, and I wondered what I had said wrong that had possibly gone over the line and offended him.
I wanted to ask; however, he wouldn’t stop staring at me, so I spoke again.
“T-this is what you wanted to ask for, isn’t it?” I asked.
He seemed to sigh then, and then his next words shocked the living daylights out of me.
“You don’t think I care about you at all, do you?” he asked, and for a long moment, I was sure I was hallucinating. It was either this or that I didn’t know how to respond to this question because I just kept staring at him.
“Scarlett,” he called, and my heart nearly stopped.
At first, I wasn’t sure why tears gathered in my eyes, but soon enough, and as his expression somewhat softened, I understood why. He had only called me by my name once and it was a painful night to remember. It wasn’t his fault, but I had half expected him to just call me Sophie like he always did, but now, it felt as though he was talking to me.
It took me a while to recover from this, and so I shook my head and lowered it until my emotions were back under control. There was no point in responding now. Afterwards, I simply just stared at him, and then, to my surprise, he got up and pulled his chair over until he was seated by my side. I had no idea what was happening and couldn’t help but feel alarmed.
I was nervous and afraid, but beneath it all was an excitement that I couldn’t explain. And then, to make things worse, he turned until I was forced to stare directly into hiseyes. This was dangerous because in this state and with him, I definitely could not think straight.
Still, I managed to maintain my cool and listened to every single word he said like I depended on it.
“Things have been quite rocky between us, and so I understand why you wouldn’t be quite sure what to think regarding me or maybe even assume the worst, but...”
I held my breath, and at his pause, I had to wonder if he was playing with me. And that was when I realized that as difficult as this felt for me, it felt the same way for him. He had always been straightforward in his manner of speech, seeming not to have a single fear in the world, but then here he was, and I could swear that I felt how awkward and nervous he was with every fiber of my being.
And so, before I could stop myself, my hand reached out to place my hand on his. I had no clue what that was intended to do, but I immediately took it off the moment I realized it and was starting to apologize. However, he took my hand and returned it to his.
I’m in love with you, I wanted to say with all of my heart as I watched him hold my hand. There was so much care and affection in his touch and my heart felt like it was about to burst.
“I didn’t stay away from you for the past couple of months because I didn’t care,” he said. “I just... what I had with you, the way I feel with you, I’ve never experienced that before. And it came so fast and so suddenly that I couldn’t trust it. I’ve always known the best things come with excruciating effort and with time but with you… it felt as though I had suddenly been presented with the whole world, yet it made absolutely no sense to me because it seemed to be too easy. When I thought you were Sophie,” he said, “it made sense. I’d known her for years; you’d known me for years as well. And so with the new change, she seemed to have, I didn’t doubt myself at all. But then I found outthat was indeed you and a lot of my belief systems were shaken, especially in myself. Suddenly, I was wary when I hadn’t been in such a long time, and I was somewhat confused and alarmed and, most importantly, felt like I couldn’t trust anything, even what we had.”
I could feel myself calming down because as he spoke to me now, I found myself becoming lighter. After all, I felt as though I understood exactly what he was saying to me. In short, it was as though I had thought this all along by now and assumed it as the explanation for his coldness, at least during the first few days, but I couldn’t even fully accept it, and so I had brushed it to the corner of my mind.
But now that he was saying it right in front of me, I was almost afraid to breathe. His gaze lowered as he squeezed my hand in his.
“I care about you,” he said. “Deeply. More than I can verbally express right now. And I know you might not be convinced of this, especially given how things have gone between us, but there is one thing that I want you to believe with all of your heart: that I am thrilled about our baby. I don’t know how you feel about it, but to me, it feels like permission to chase what I feel with you. Because of this baby, I can throw my caution to the wind and throw away my reservations, and I…” he stared at me then and smiled.
“I’m out of words but… ”
This made me smile, and I didn't even realize it until his gaze lowered to my lips, and I had to catch myself.
“I want to get to know you better,” he said. “This was one of the things that pained me immensely these past months. I wanted to know everything about you, but I couldn’t get past the mental barriers I had set for myself, holding me back. This has been a lifetime practice, but now… with you, I want to make the needed tweaks.”
“I’m… Scarlett, I’m in love with you. And I just can’t wait for it to grow even deeper. I want to go all in with you, and while I can’t promise you the world, I can promise you my whole heart and unwavering commitment. Yes, your pregnancy is the knock I needed to accept this and come to my senses, but I also hope that you don’t think it is the entire reason behind my fascination with you. You are the most gorgeous, breathtaking woman I have encountered in my life, and I do not want to spend another day not being able to call you mine. I won’t put you under pressure in any way, but if you’re willing to walk hand in hand with me so we can figure this out and perhaps make a dream of a family together, then I am more than willing to come along with you.”
At this point, I was shaking, and I could feel it. First of all, this was more words than I had ever heard him speak, and secondly, I didn’t think any words in the history of the world could ever sound sweeter.
