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It had been intense, sweet, and satisfying beyond either of our expectations and was now quite possibly the hardest thing to look away from.
And so, as I retreated to the office, I considered all of my options. I was so distracted and unsettled, especially because I had asked for the rest of the week off, and I had to handle this before the end of the day to give him a response. Or maybe this wasn’t my focus? Maybe my focus was on discovering just how I could make this happen between us, so that rather than go home to my now suddenly distasteful, cold, and unpleasant apartment, I could go to his or wherever. But one thing was guaranteed: that I would be warm throughout the night and slightly out of my mind because I would be with him.
I was distracted with anticipation, dread, and confusion as I managed to keep my head together as I worked while also considering all the other possibilities. And at the end of the day, the only option that came to my mind that would enable me to accept this offer from him was to tell him the truth. That I wasn’t Sophie. That I was instead Scarlett and that he had, in essence, never met me. But this was for sure to get Sophie instantly fired. My argument with myself, and one that I wished I had the guts to present to him, was that this wasn’t a romantic arrangement between us either way, so there was no need to be too deeply hurt or offended by the deception. However, I had long learned that one of the most fragile things on earth was a man's ego, and so I deeply suspected that his annoyance would be more than enough to override this passion between us.
There was absolutely no way out that didn’t involve some kind of loss. It was now a choice of which loss I could best part with. Costing Sophie her job was out of the question; however, there was one more option. Instead of taking the leave as I had planned, I could just hold on until the end of the week and indulge in him without restraints. Try my very best to get him out of my system so that at the end of the day, there would be no regrets, just great brief times and the sexiest memories to look back on.
And then, of course, there was the next best option of all; which was to ignore all of this and to stick to the original and solely professional agreement between the both of us. This one would completely be for Sophie's sake, and I was quite embarrassed that this wasn’t my sole focus and concern.
Sighing, I continued to click away at my desk, barely paying any attention to anything until eventually, it was way past closing time, and I didn’t even realize it. Lucien was still in his office after having completed a meeting and working away, and so ultimately, and once again, it was just us both. I didn’t have a reason to go in, and he didn’t have a reason to call me, and I hadn’t made up my mind.
I truly didn’t know what to do. I tried calling Sophie, but I didn’t know how to tell her any of this. It wouldn’t make sense. It would simply instigate her fury and make it look like I was emotionally out of control, but this was so far from the truth.
Eventually, every option was taken from me because suddenly the door to his office was pulled open. I nearly jumped out of my skin and was so embarrassed after the fact that I could barely look at him.
“Are you alright?” he asked, and I nodded.
“I am. Just uh… d-did you need anything?”
“No, I’m heading home,” he said.
I looked at the time then and couldn’t help but notice that this was much, much earlier than his usual time of clocking out for the day. I was a little unhappy and upset because I had hoped that there would be a little bit more time for me to figure out what I was going to do. However, it was as though there was truly no way out. He headed to the door then without a word, and I watched him go.
This would be the last time I saw him because there would be no reason for me to come in tomorrow. Absolutely none, and so I couldn’t help the tears that stung my eyes. My heart twisted in my chest, but I couldn’t say a word. He left the office, and I sank back down into my chair, but then I got up and began to pace.
I looked at his office door, and in the next second, I grabbed my things, shut off my computer, and was on my way. Thankfully, I met him at the elevators; however, he arrived just before I got there, so I could either hurry up to join in or call another. Just as I was contemplating what to do, his hand slammed against the steel door, and then his gorgeous face appeared.
“Aren’t you coming?” he asked, and my only response to this was a resounding yes. It didn’t even matter that he was just speaking about the elevator ride. I imagined it meant everything else and tried my very best to breathe.
The ride was longer than I had ever remembered it being, even though it was a private elevator. But through it all, I shut my eyes and savored the scent of his presence, knowing fully well that it might be the very last time.
And for that reason, I once again considered withdrawing my decision to take a leave starting the next day.
“Did you sort out your leave with Rosie?” he suddenly asked, and I was startled.
I looked at him, wondering who the heck Rosie was, and panicked that there was no way to find out because he was standing directly beside me.
I told myself to remain calm then because whoever she was, the fact remained that I hadn’t seen her as of yet, so there was no point in lying about it and digging myself into a dark mess.
“No, not yet,” I said and cleared my throat.
He turned to me, and I could see the surprise in his eyes. “You're going on leave, and you didn’t sort it out with human resources?”
“Ah,” my mouth almost fell open in realization. Rosie was probably the head of Human Resources.
“Um… I forgot,” I said, and his eyebrows cocked up even further.
“You forgot?”
I wasn't exactly sure what was happening, but it sounded serious, so I turned away and kept to myself.
“Will you then be coming in tomorrow to handle it? I don’t understand.”
I didn’t know either or understand anything, but what I did know was I couldn’t go a moment longer without soothing this now maddening ache for his touch. And so I turned to him and sighed.
“I don’t know,” I said. “At this moment, I really don’t know anything, so it’s making me quite confused all around.”
“What exactly is making you confused?” he asked, this was the last thing I wanted to get into.
