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He rested his forehead against hers and blew out a breath. “Again … I?—”
“Please don’t apologize.”
He pulled back just enough to stare into her blue eyes. He loved every bit of her, but her eyes stole the show even more than her red hair or luscious lips.
If he couldn’t apologize, what was he supposed to say?I’m a complete loser who can’t stop kissing you? Please protect your heart because I’m a walking time bomb?
“You are the most incredible man I’ve ever met,” Brylee said.
Cash wanted to protest that. If he was incredible, he’d exhibit some of the finely honed self-restraint he’d always prided himself on. Because of his self-control, he’d never touched a drop of alcohol or taken a hit of drugs. He’d honed his body to a lethal weapon but not to hurt, rather to protect and bless others’ lives. And now he couldn’t seem to keep his lips and hands off the beauty he wanted to be consumed by night and day.
She kept talking before he could disparage himself aloud, or admit the vicious truth to her. “I see it in your eyes, Cash.” She swallowed and said very softly, carefully, not afraid of him but perhaps cautious about upsetting him. “Something is very wrong, and you can’t tell me about it right now.”
Cash could only blink at her. She’d nailed it. How could she know something was wrong and not pry into it? She had more self-control than he did.
Cash was the accomplished and decorated Green Beret Captain? He felt like a total wimp right now. He wasn’t in the realm of light, patience, love, and restraint of this spiritual giant. That was all he knew. Brylee Auburn was from another world, an angel he shouldn’t mar with his earthly problems.
“Maybe it’s the stupid cameras.” She smirked, but any mirth disappeared quick. “Or maybe it’s your deep sense of honor. Maybe we just don’t know each other well enough.” She pressed her lips together, and he feared she was close to tears. Her eyes were bright and exquisite. “It’s okay, Cash. Let’s just … enjoy this time we have together, and someday maybe you’ll be ready to share with me.”
Cash’s breath came in fast pants. He stared at her in shock. Could she truly be this understanding and kind and perfect?
He should’ve tried for some self-control, especially after she’d exhibited so much. Instead, he whispered against her lips, “You are the most exemplary and beautiful woman in the entire world.”
She smiled at that, her eyes lighting up.
Then Cash kissed her.
He kissed her thoroughly, and he didn’t care if the cameras were capturing it. The only thing that could pull him away and finally helped him get in control was realizing that the closer they grew, the more it would devastate her when they were irrevocably wrenched apart.
Slowing the kisses, he focused on being happy like she was. He lifted her off his lap, jumped to his feet, and squeezed water out of his shirt.
“You arewild, Brylee Auburn,” he called out.
She laughed. “You make me wild, Cash Trapper.”
He wanted to kiss her, but for once he refrained. “Let’s go find a million dollars, shall we?”
“Yes, Captain.”
They dried their feet and clothes a bit, slipped into their socks and shoes, and strapped on their backpacks. Cash drew out the machete and started hacking a new trail straight north. That made the most sense to divide the island into digestible parts, though the flags they’d found were on straight lines at angles. They could explore angles more tomorrow. Right now, he felt like he had a new lease on life, so close and entwined with Brylee—heart, mind, and soul.
Was it wrong?
There was a nagging worry in his mind that he was using Brylee in the worst way. How could he reconcile that with her telling him not to apologize, recognizing something was deeply wrong inside of him, and saying it was okay, that they should just enjoy this time together?
It wouldn’t be okay. This type of cancer had the survival rate of a mouse living in an eagle’s nest.
Could he selfishly ‘enjoy this time together’ like she’d said, or did he need to spill the truth, get through this time without devouring her lips every other minute, and save her more pain in the long run?
Cash hacked at tree limbs, bushes, and overgrowth of every kind. He had absolutely no answer.
Maybe it was time he manned up and told her the truth. He couldn’t imagine how she would react. With as great as she’d been about everything, she’d probably take it in stride, but he didn’t know. He was more terrified to tell Brylee the truth and break her heart with his impending death than he was to actually die.
Chapter
Eleven
Brylee wasin heaven being around Cash, especially when they kissed. She was also terrified despite the insight from heaven two nights ago and the peace she’d felt. There was something deeply wrong, and he didn’t want to tell her about it. Would he ever share it with her? She wanted to conquer his pain together with prayer, faith, and love.
