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This was much harder. Would it make it any easier on her in the end?
The only thing he knew was her jerk ex had claimed men didn’t like redheads, and Cash didn’t want her to think for one second that he’d left her because she wasn’t perfect to him. Every guy had their type, and different people were more attractive to some than others, but to him Brylee was exquisitely beautiful,fun, sweet, smart, unselfish, kind … he had to stop or he’d list desirable characteristics about her all day.
He held her while she cried and the glow from the sun disappeared completely. Night deepened around them. Finally, she seemed to relax and said into his neck, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Cancer,” he admitted. “Pancreatic. They took part of my pancreas, but it spread to my liver and stomach. It’s in my lymph system as well.”
She shuddered against him. “Treatment?”
“It’ll only slow the progression.”
“But you’ll try?” She arched up to look at him. In the dark, he couldn’t see her sapphire eyes.
“I’ll try. I’m already taking AOH1996.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s a new miracle drug.” He shouldn’t have said miracle. The doctors had been very specific that he should not expect a miracle. “It can shrink tumors and cancer cells and help chemo be more effective. The great thing is no side effects, so I still feel great.” Until he started the chemo or the cancer progressed.
“So you might not die,” she said, her voice filling with a hope he hated to douse.
“The doctors have been very frank with me, Bry. Cases like mine, the ‘miracles’ are the ones that live longer than eighteen months. There was one case that made it to year ten.” The new AOH1996 gave a little hope, but the doctors were not even optimistically cautious. They were simply cautious.
“How long do they …” she gulped and whispered, “say you have?”
“Six to eighteen months.”
“But the AO … drug and chemo will make that longer.”
“No, love. That’s with AOH1996 and chemo.”
She shuddered against him. He waited for it. He knew Brylee far too well. In only five days, he knew her. Crazy. Insane. But true.
Now she would claim they’d fight the cancer together. She’d stay by his side. That was the reason he shouldn’t have told her, but he couldn’t hide this from her any longer.
“Did you just call me love?” she asked, raising her head again.
Cash’s breath caught. Had he? He had! Ah, crap. It was true, but it would only make this harder.
“Cash.” Her voice was surprisingly level. “I love you, and I think you love me.”
Cash’s breath that had just caught all rushed out. “Bry … we can’t. You can’t.”
“Don’t you dare tell me I can’t.” She got all feisty, and it was so appealing. “I love you and I’m going to fight this with you, and we’ll pray for miracles, but if not, we’ll have whatever time the Lord will give us. Us against the world. Remember?”
“Ah, Bry. Please don’t do this.”
“Don’t do this?” Now her voice pitched in an angry squeal he’d never heard out of her. “I am very well doing this. And you can’t stop me.”
He thought she might shove him away. Instead, she held him even tighter. Like someone would rip them apart.
Someone would. Him.
He straightened his back and tried to ease away. She still clung to him. “Brylee. You are absolutely incredible. I won’t let you waste your life on a man with a death sentence, and I won’t let you watch me wither away.”
“It’s not really your choice.”
“I love your spice, but this is not happening. We are not happening.”
