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The hurt that poured over Ava’s features broke my heart.
“Ava, why don’t I finish making breakfast and—”
“I have to go,” she said. Her voice was so meek, so light, so breathless. It made my heart ache for her.
“Don’t leave. Let’s just calm down and have some coffee and—”
“I really have to go,” she whispered.
With watering eyes and trembling hands, she brushed past me and headed for my bedroom. Like lightning, she changed, and less than a minute later she strode out of my place in her heels with her purse over her shoulder. All I could do was stand there and watch helplessly. I wanted to pursue her, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good. I wanted to grab her arm and tell her to stay, tell her to talk with me. To settle down with me on the couch and at least get her bearings before she tried to drive. But I knew it wouldn’t do any good. She wanted to leave, so I wouldn’t stop her.
My only hope was that this wasn’t the end.
My only hope was that I would be able to see Ava again.
Ava
I tried calling Camilla again on her cell phone, but this time it shot me straight to her voice mail. No ringing, no silencing my call. Just straight to voice mail without so much as a ring. She had turned off her phone and now I had no way of getting in touch with her. I had no way of speaking with my best friend.
This was a girl I’d known since childhood, the person in my life who had known me the longest aside from my parents. And she wouldn’t return my phone calls. She wouldn’t pick up. I couldn’t ruin our friendship over some guy. I would not let that happen. I’d take Camilla over Logan any day. And I knew once I sat her down and explained to her how things with Logan and I had begun, we’d be laughing about it and she’d be high-fiving me for losing my virginity. That was how Camilla was. I would give her all the juicy details and she’d be reveling in the stories before too long.
As long as she could set aside the fact that it was Logan.
I tried her cell phone again and left another voice message. I had no idea if she was getting them. I was tired, defeated, and lost. I’d spent the rest of the day Saturday and all Sunday morning trying to get in touch with her. Logan had tried calling me a couple times as well. But I couldn’t bring myself to take his calls. Every time I saw his name pop up on my phone, it filled me with guilt.
And wonder.
I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with Camilla over some guy, but I knew deep down that Logan wasn’t simply some guy. He was special, beautiful, kind, romantic, and respectful. He had boundaries and morals and an ethical code that he lived by. He was a business owner and seemed to have a great respect for his mother. I liked that, a son who took care of his mother. It meant he had been raised with a strong sense of responsibility to protect the women around him.
Like he had tried to protect me when he kept stepping in front of Camilla.
Closing my eyes, I sat on the edge of my bed. My mind ripped me back into the other night, how amazing it had felt to be in his arms and how right it had felt to sit in his lap and rock myself to my unending pleasure. And waking up against him… I shivered at the memory, at his chiseled arms wrapped around me and his meaty thighs clinging to my leg as it pressed between his knees, the way he sniffed my hair and refused to untangle himself from my tresses. Every movement I made, he had copied, like his body hadn’t wanted to unravel from mine.
I’d never felt like that before.
Being with him like that had felt so right, and that was all the more reason to talk with Camilla. I needed to speak with her before I ever saw or spoke to Logan again, which meant that until I could get her on the phone, I had to keep ignoring him. The very thought made me sick.
He deserved better than that, better than all this drama that came with me. Part of me wanted to call him up and tell him we couldn’t see one another again. My heart couldn’t handle it, though, and I knew the second I heard his voice, I’d be done for. I’d go tripping back into his arms and falling into his bed and waking up tangled around him, without a care in the world as to what it did to Camilla.
