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“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head in defeat. “I don’t know.”
I thought of Lila. Her patient temperament, her warm smile. She was like a steady flame, heating the hearth during the long winter nights. While Raven was like a wildfire, burningunrestrained, bright, and free. They were different, but both brilliant, beautiful flames that had set my heart ablaze.
How had this happened? Was it possible to love them both? I knew my father would adamantly object to Raven. Intertribal relationships were forbidden everywhere in Eastlandra. He’d remind me of the great dishonor I’d bring to my family by letting my affections wander outside my tribe. Not to mention the dishonor I’d bring to Lila’s family by breaking my promise to her.
“Let’s just get some sleep and deal with all this tomorrow,” I said, hating myself for even trying to compare them.
Unable to go back to the guestrooms after what just happened, Kah and I settled into a small rock alcove that blocked the wind. I wrapped my cloak tighter around me and scooted up next to him.
“Just to be clear, you think Raven’s safe tonight? With the Bramblemen and the bowman out there?” Kah asked, thankfully not commenting about the kiss.
The moment he said the wordbowman, a missing puzzle piece clicked into place in my brain. “IknewI’d seen the bowman before, Kah,” I said. “He’s been following us since well before Javan.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why didn’t I notice this before? He was the figure in the black cloak sitting in the back of the tavern the night Raven and I arrived in the marketplace. And he was the spy asking the innkeeper about Raven. He must have followed Merrin’s wagon to Ibenswick and tracked us from there to Javan and now here.”
“Blazenhell,” Kah muttered. The fact he was cursing meant he was just as surprised as I was. “How did we not notice him?”
I had a suspicion that there was more to Skyler than met the eye.
Before I could explain, Kah said, “Don’t we need to warn Raven?”
“I just saw her, and she was safe,” I told Kah. Unless I wascertainthis Skyler guy was going to hurt her, there was no way I could go back there tonight after what had just happened between us. “I’ll find her first thing in the morning and explain everything.”
Skies, I had a lot of explaining to do.
37
Raven
Ihadn’t moved since Jeddak disappeared into the darkness. Icouldn’tmove. My thoughts were too busy trying to stitch up the newly formed fissure in my heart with a string of sensible explanations for why he’d just left. It wasn’t working.
He’d kissed me andleft.
His words hung in the cold air:I’m sorry—I can’t.
“Was that Jeddak?” a voice said, startling me.
I looked up, surprised to see Skyler striding across the narrow bridge toward me from the adjacent guesthouse. He must have heard Jeddak’s outcry. I opened my mouth to answer him and then closed it again.
“Raven, are you all right? What happened?” he said when he reached me.
“I’m—” I began, still unable to find the words.
“Do you want to go inside and talk? You’re shivering.” The way he said it made it sound like talking was something we did all the time.
I shook my head. “I can’t,” I said, turning to retreat inside my room. As eager as I’d been to talk with him during the feast, I felt raw and hurt and in no mood to be around anyone.
He reached for my arm to stop me.
I flinched away from him.
“Look, I have to talk to you. It’s important.” He stepped closer to me. “You can’t go to Askeland with Jeddak.”
“And why is that?” I snapped, the rejection I felt suddenly morphing into anger.
“He’s been lying to you.”
