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Even though Raven wouldn’t look at me, I spoke to her anyway. “Raven, I didn’t know about Lila. I don’t know how she … I didn’t mean to …” My words trailed off. Seeing Raven there, wrapped in Skyler’s protective arms, I didn’t think she’d believe anything I had to say. Why would she?
“Just leave her alone,” Skyler said. “I think you’ve done enough.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kah limping toward me. Behind him, shouts rang out as the Kovaks took back control of the hall, forcing the enemy to surrender. The stars reemerged in the night sky as the dark clouds evaporated and the snowstorm dispersed. It seemed Lila’s grip on the world and those in it had faded along with her.
“What have I done, Kah?” I said, shaking my head in defeat. The guilt was like an iron anchor, holding me down as a furious ocean of emotions washed over me. How could Kah or Raven ever forgive me for betraying them when they needed me the most?
“Well, for one, you married an evil Magi,” he muttered, his injuries apparently not affecting his sarcasm. “Not your best moment.”
That was the truth. Had I ever really loved Lila? Or was that part of the manipulation too? My eyes flicked to Raven.
Kah sighed. “Raven will come around, Jeddak. Just give her time.” He turned to leave. “Come on.”
Not knowing what else to do, I followed Kah back into the great hall, pausing beside Averee and Nya. She was pushing herself off the ground with a groan. Nya was at her side, rubbing her nose against Averee’s face. I reached out my hand to her like we’d just finished a sparring match. With a smirk, Averee grasped it, and I hauled her to her feet. Nya growled at me.
“Welcome back,” she said, rubbing her head where I’d hit her. Her face was stained with blood.
“Are you all right?” I’d always enjoyed defeating her in training, but this didn’t feel like a victory at all.
She nodded, stooping to pick up her staff. “I don’t know what the blazenhell happened to you tonight, but you owe me averylarge drink. And we’re going to have a serious discussion about your choice of brides.”
When Kah and I made it to my bedroom, I stripped off my ruined wedding clothes and chucked them into the fire. They took a long time to burn, transforming from flames to embers to ash. Just like my life.
I didn’t leavemy room for two days. The staff brought in food, clean clothes, and bandages for Kah’s wounds—which were already healing quickly. I ignored the requests from my father to meet with him and spent the hours replaying every word Lila had said to me, every gesture, every action, searching for cracks in her story since the time we’d met. Trying to find the place where my trust in her should have faltered. When I should have noticed the spider lurking in the pretty web.
In that time, there was no word from Raven. Not that I expected any. I doubted she wanted to see me after everything that had happened. Nonetheless, I’d made a promise to her that I intended to keep.
Three days after the wedding,Kah and I stood on one of the eastern-facing balconies in the great hall before sunrise. Slowly, light began to emerge behind the hazy purple mountains, and the gray sky flushed with rosy hues. It had snowed the night before—real snow, not a malefic spell—covering the balcony in fine white powder.
“Do you think she’ll come?” I asked Kah, feeling uncertain. Yesterday, I’d sent a message to Raven to ask her to meet me atdawn in the great hall, but now I wasn’t feeling confident she’d come.
“I don’t know. Some of us like to sleep past the crack of dawn,” Kah said, fluffing up his fur against the cold. It had taken some persuasion to get him away from the warm fire in our room while it was still dark outside.
I took a deep breath to slow my rapid heartbeat. The air smelled of sweet pine and wood smoke from the chimneys below. Despite the mess I’d made of everything, it felt good to be home in Askeland.
“Jeddak?”
I turned to see Raven standing in the archway, her black hair and dark wool cloak contrasting the sea of white around us. She rubbed her eyes like she was still waking up. The wound on her hand was freshly bandaged.
My breath caught at the sight of her. I’d gone over this moment in my head. What I wanted to say, how to say it. But when I opened my mouth, all that came out was, “Hi.”
“Good opener,” Kah said in mock encouragement.
I shot him a look.
“Hi,” Raven said, wrapping her arms around her middle. She seemed nervous to be back in the great hall, even though it was now quiet and empty, swept clean of the evil that had taken root here over the long winter months.
“Thanks for coming. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.” Though she was alone, I had no doubt that Skyler was watching us from somewhere nearby in his bird form. I still didn’t trust the guy, but he’d protected Raven when I couldn’t, so Kah had encouraged me not to banish him from Askeland like I’d wanted to.
“How’s your friend? The girl?”The one I almost killed.
“She’s on the mend. Your people have been kind to us,” Raven said. Her eyes met mine, silently asking the real reason I’d asked her to come.
I exhaled. “Raven, I wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything. For lying to you. For putting you in danger. For hurting you …”For not telling you I love you the moment I knew.
I hadn’t told Kah yet about what Raven had said to me on the terrace the night of the wedding, still unsure if that one perfect moment among all the other horrible ones had been real. Seeing Raven so guarded now, I wondered if any feelings she might’ve once had for me were forever lost. Maybe it was for the best. She would be leaving soon anyway. Confessing my feelings for her now would just … complicate things.
