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A short while later, still unable to relax, I scrub up and wash myself off. Then I wrap myself in a fluffy white bathrobe.
I throw myself, stomach first, onto the bed and hold my arms out on either side of me.
What the hell am I doing?
There is no spark between Adrian and me.
Therecan’tbe.
Whatever pull I’m feeling is the result of being trapped in a loveless marriage for too long.
Adrian just happens to be the first available attractive and interesting man I’ve crossed paths with since the divorce. So my psyche has latched itself onto him.
Deep down, I know it doesn’t mean anything.
It can’t.
Still, my skin tingles as I relive the feeling of his skin brushing against mine. I flip onto my back, stare up at the ceiling, and place a pillow over my head. I release a deep, frustration-filled groan into it and sigh.
Half of me wants to take out my laptop, just to give myself something to work on. But the other half of me knows it’s not going do me any good.
Without social media to fill the silence and silence my demons, I have nothing else to do. Sighing, I stand up and wander into the living room.
After flipping through a few cable shows, I settle on an old black-and-white movie and sink against the couch.
I’m half-asleep when I hear the familiar buzz of my phone, bringing me back to the present with a jolt.
Half-asleep I pick the phone up off the nightstand. “Oh, thank God. I was beginning to go crazy not being able to talk to you.”
“You’re going crazy? I’m the one who got left in suspense here. What’s happening with your cowboy hunk?”
I sit down on the edge of the bed and twirl a lock of hair around my fingers. “Okay, first of all, he’s not my cowboy hunk. Second of all, he’s not a cowboy….he’s a rancher.”
Savannah snorts. “Girl. He is so much more than just a rancher. He's Adrian Steele, stealing your heart.” I hear her laughter.
“Sav, it's not funny. I told you to stop mentioning him. It’s embarrassing enough that you know that I’ve got a thing for the owner. I don’t want anyone else to know.”
“Based on what you’ve told me, I’m sure the entire female population there is already in love with him. And at least half of them have thought about what it would be like to bang his brains out.”
“You always did have a way with words.”
“Babe, even I want to bang him from what you’ve told me. It sounds like you’re living in a fantasy land with your hunk by your side. You think I don’t know that you indulge in those fantasies.”
“I don’t,” I insist, with a shake of my head. "Not to that extent at least.”
Savannah says something to her cat in the background. I hear a door open and close then the sound of a hiss. “Sure, whatever makes you sleep at night. Anyways, what happened after breakfast yesterday?”
“What do you mean?”
“He got you a bowl of fruit instead of the one you spilled all over yourself, and…?”
I sigh and stop twirling my lock of hair. “And nothing. He gave me the bowl and wandered off to talk to some other guests. Let’s face it, Sav. He’s just doing his job, and I’m lusting over him like…. like some kind of animal in heat.”
Savannah’s TV blares in the background. “Sorry, babe. Hold on. Let me just find the remote. Bad kitty.”
I let the bathrobe fall into a heap on the floor and stand in front of my closet, completely naked. “I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I can tell him to stay away from me.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Savannah is munching on something. I have a vision of her in pajamas, glasses perched on top of her head, marinara sauce dribbling down her chin. “He’s definitely into you too, D. It’s pretty obvious from what you’ve been telling me.”
