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Brian’s expression lights up. “Do you think I actually stand a chance with her?”
I pause. “I don’t know. But it isn’t the craziest idea you’ve ever had. And stranger things have definitely happened.”
Brian stares at my face and doesn’t say anything.
Slowly, he sinks to his feet and stares back up at the ceiling. I take my phone out and check the time.
Then I hurry out of the room and into the reception area where Maureen is about to clock out.
After giving her a series of instructions, I go back to Brian. He is standing in front of the window peering out.
Wordlessly, I pick up the jacket he hung up behind the door and toss it to him. He catches it mid-air and gives me a confused look.
“Everyone’s asleep. So, come on. There’s something I want to show you.”
Brian pulls the jacket on and doesn’t say anything. On our way out of the main cabin, I take the bag out of Maureen’s hand and offer her a smile. “Remind me to give you a raise.”
Maureen laughs. “You just gave me one.”
Outside in the darkness, I switch the flashlight on and hold it up in front of me. Brian falls into step beside me, and we creep forward.
In the distance, a wolf howls, and the wind whistles. When we reach the clearing, the fire there has just died out. There are no guests in sight.
Relieved, I climb over the log and glance at Brian over my shoulders. “I know you don’t feel up to group activities just yet, but I thought you might enjoy a preview.”
Brian sits down on the overturned log and looks around. “You bring them out to the middle of nowhere? Half of them probably think you’re a serial killer.”
I choke back a laugh, sit down next to him, and take out a can of beer. After handing him one, I crack mine open and take a long sip. “As long as it doesn’t taint the overall experience.”
Brian sips on his drink and studies the night sky, where hundreds of stars are spread out and twinkling like a thousand diamonds. “Yeah, I don’t know how the hell you came up with the idea for this retreat, but it’s not half bad.”
“It was actually partly inspired by you.”
Brian rolls his eyes. “Yeah, right.”
I take another sip of my beer. It trickles down my throat and settles into the pit of my stomach. “Do you remember the first trip you took after you got your first job? To Peru?”
Brian twists to face me and nods. “The silent retreat…Yeah, I remember that. I also remember mom being pissed. And Dad thought I was on drugs.”
My lips lift into a half smile. “Honestly, I kind of thought you were on drugs too. So when mom and Dad told me I should go and check on you, I jumped at the chance. I was already traveling abroad. So I thought, why not?”
Brian snorts. “I knew you didn’t to detour from your plan as a spur-of-the-moment thing. You’re not that kind of person.”
“I’m not. But you’re my big brother. Even if it is only by a few minutes.”
It’s always a no-brainer for me to make sure he is okay.
Yet, rather than being knee-deep in drugs and unaware of anything around him, Brian had been surprisingly alert and calm.
I spent the entire time clinging to the shadows and watching him carefully, ready to swoop in at the first sign of trouble.
Looking out for Brian has always come as second nature to me and I’ve done it my whole life.
The retreat in Peru was no exception.
But the more I studied him back then, and the grace with which he held himself, the more relieved I was.
I ended up in another retreat. It was there that the plan for my own retreat took shape. And when I returned from my trip backpacking around the world, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head.
