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Her head whips in my direction, and when she recognizes me, the easy smile on her face falls. I stand up straighter, offer her a small smile, and wait.
She frowns as she rides past me and heads in the direction of the stables.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m running after her.
When I burst through the stable doors, she is leading her mare to the empty stall. There, she pauses to take off the saddle and give her a firm pat.
Then she reaches for a brush and runs it over the mare’s back, a contented sigh passing between her lips. I try not to breathe too loudly as I walk towards her.
“I told you that I didn’t want to talk,” Danielle says, without looking at me. “Which part of that was hard for you to understand?”
“All of it.” I stop outside the stall and fold my arms over my chest. “It’s hardly fair that you get to cut me out without talking to me.”
Danielle shakes her head and throws her hands up. “No, I’m not doing this. I can’t keep going round and around in circles with you. I came here to get away from all of this bullshit not find myself getting sucked back in.”
“Danielle.” I stare after her as she walks away. “Wait.”
She keeps walking, and I don’t do anything to stop her.
And I have no idea why.
Is it because, deep down, I know she deserves better?
Or is it because I haven’t been completely honest with her about everything?
Either way, I know I can’t make things right when she’s still this angry. With a sigh, I reach for the nearest horse, a sweet-tempered chestnut mare.
After leading her outside, I secure the saddle, and the stirrups and climb onto her back. I ride until sweat is pouring down my back and the sides of my face.
I ride until my legs ache, and my lungs burn.
And when I can’t run anymore, I slow to a trot. As if I can outrun all of the feelings bubbling up within me.
Eventually, when it’s too dark for me to ride, I lead the horse back to the stables, and offer her an apple.
Then I walk back to my room. Darkness surrounding me. A strange churning in the center of my stomach. What is happening to me? Why does my life feel so out of control in every direction?
Chapter Sixteen: Danielle
I peek through the curtain, see the back of Adrian’s head, and frown. Reluctantly, I unlatch the lock, and the door creaks open.
Immediately, Adrian stops walking and glances at me over his shoulders.
When I glance down and see the bouquet of flowers, the bottle of red wine, and the handwritten note attached to it, some of the ice around my heart melts.
Am I being too hard on him?
Over the past two days, he’s done nothing but seek me out at every opportunity. Even in front of the other guests. Just to grovel and plead.
He’s left me flowers, wine, and every type of chocolate imaginable.
And he’s even taken it upon himself to write me letters, short but sweet letters that leave me even more confused than before. I can’t deny my feelings for him.
Especially not when he’s lavishing me with attention.
But I’m afraid of opening myself up to him. He needs help and I can't help him. I'm not in a position to be able to help him with his mental health. I need help myself.
I’ve seen how easily he can flip his own emotions on and off. It's been so painful to see him ignoring and avoiding me like that and it's not even his fault. It's the fault of his illness.
