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“I know that’s an awful thing to say,” I continue, in a smaller voice. “It’s not that I want him to have issues. I just…it’s just that….”
“It would be better than realizing you’re getting played?”
I sink against the couch and bury my face in my hands. “I’m an awful person, aren’t I, doc? What is the matter with me that I can’t attract a nice and normal guy?”
It’s like I’m stuck in a loop where I jump from one asshole to the next.
Damaged, unavailable, and self-involved men seem to be my specialty.
Through the slit in my fingers, I see Doctor Sheridan set the clipboard down on the table next to her and link her fingers together.
I continue to peek at her. She leans forward and clears her throat.
“Okay, first of all, there’s nothing wrong with you. Second of all, it’s okay to feel like you’re attracting the wrong kind of people. It’s because you don’t think you deserve better.”
I don’t realize I’m crying until I wipe my face. “I do deserve better, doc. And I want to do better. I didn’t come here to get caught up in whatever this is. I want to get my life back on track, and I definitely don’t want to repeat old habits.”
Doctor Sheridan stands up and kneels down in front of me. She takes both of my hands in hers and holds my gaze. “Danielle, just the fact that you’re admitting what you want and realizing what you don’t want is a huge step. A good step.”
I sniff. “It is?”
“You’re not going to make the same mistakes you did before because you’re self-aware now and because you know better,” Doctor Sheridan continues, softly. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”
I swallow. “What if my luck with men hasn’t changed?”
Doctor Sheridan shakes her head. “I don’t believe that. I think you should give yourself a lot more credit than that. Regardless of whether or not your Mr. X has mental health issues, the fact that you’re paying attention makes all of the difference in the world.”
I search her face. “So, what do I do now?”
Doctor Sheridan releases my hands and stands up. “You take it easy. One step at a time. And you listen to your gut. Don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with him, Danielle. Mr. X isn’t Trevor, remember?”
I nod and release a deep, shaky breath. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Doctor Sheridan retrieves a box of tissues and hands it to me. “Whatever you decide, you’re going to be okay. You are a resilient and smart woman. Just give yourself time to figure things out.”
When I leave my session, I feel much better than when I went in.
And for the first time in days, my relationship with Adrian doesn’t feel so hopeless after all.
He and I might actually have a chance. And I might not be losing myself all over again.
Chapter Seventeen: Danielle
I flip onto my side and curl up against Adrian. He drapes an arm over my shoulders and presses a kiss to the side of my head. “I wish we could stay in bed forever.”
Adrian chuckles and stretches his legs out. “Maybe not forever. We’d have to get up for food, water, and showers.”
I lift my head up and press a kiss to the base of his neck. “Fine, so we can just stay in my cabin for the rest of my trip.”
Adrian gives me another kiss. “I wish we could.”
I snuggle up against him, the smell of his soap and spicy aftershave filling my stomach with butterflies. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I don’t scare easily, Adrian.”
Adrian yawns and lifts his arms up over his head. “I know.”
It’s been a few days since my breakthrough with Doctor Sheridan, and I’m no closer to getting Adrian to admit he has a problem.
Not that he’s exhibited any symptoms lately.
