AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m tired of playing by the rules. Of coloring inside the lines. Of not getting anywhere.
Why am I always the one waiting on the sidelines for scraps?
Why can’t be I more like those women who go after what they want unapologetically?
All of these thoughts are running through my head as I move to the music. It’s a low pulsing beat that I don’t recognize. I keep sneaking glances at Adrian.
He is sitting with his back to the bar and looking directly at us. Unfortunately, he keeps looking around the bar as if he’s waiting for something.
Or someone.
Maybe he’s waiting for someone better than you to come along. Come on, D. You’re smarter than this. Read the signs already.
Little bursts of anger pump through my veins, but I don’t want to act on them.
Because I still have no idea how much of this is Adrian, and how much of it is his illness.
And I still don’t want to be the one to point out the obvious. That Adrian has a serious problem, and it is not going to go away anytime soon.
Or ever.
But with the right medication and specialist, I’m hoping he can get it under control.
You sure do know how to pick them, don’t you, D? Always going for the damaged ones. Always trying to be the heroine who swoops in and saves the day, fixing up everything that comes her way.
With a slight shake of my head, I turn away from Adrian and fix my gaze on the group of men and women dancing in front of me.
We all exchange smiles.
Then I pick up a shot from a passing tray and down it.
When I realize that my head is swimming and my heart is pounding steadily, each staccato rhythm calling out Adrian’s name, I suddenly decide to leave, making sure Adrian doesn't see me when I do.
I have no idea how I’ll make it back to the cabin, and I don’t even realize I’m crying until I fall face-first onto the mattress and sniff, pulling the shovers over me.
I toss and turn and try to escape my thoughts of Adrian, but they won’t leave me alone.
To escape them, I bury my head further against the pillow. But I catch a whiff of Adrian’s cologne, which sends another wave of sadness washing over me.
With a huff, I throw the covers off and stumble into the bathroom. There, I grip the sink and wait for the room to stop spinning.
As soon as it does, I flick the lights on and wince. Spots dance in and out of my field of vision.
Then my eyes clear, and I find myself staring into the mirror at my bloodshot eyes and matted hair.
I look awful.
With a frown, I splash cold water on my face and gather my hair up into a bun. Swatting at the errant locks of hair escaping, I point a finger at the mirror. “You are not going to let him ruin this for you. Remember why you came here.”
I splash more water on my face and shiver.
When I glance back at the mirror, some of the puffiness is gone from my face. I sigh, peel my dress off, and slip into the shower.
While I wait for the water to heat up, I listen for Adrian’s familiar voice, hoping against hope he’ll show up on my doorstep.
Again.
No. I shake my head slowly at first then faster. You do not want him to show up at your door. You are better than this. You are better than whatever scraps Adrian gives you.
