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“I don’t even know what to say anymore.”
“Just come home,” Savannah pleads. “You’ve been wanting to anyway.”
I slam the refrigerator door shut and spin around. “But you’re the one who’s been telling me to toughen up and not let Adrian ruin my vacation.”
“Honey that was before I realized what a fucked-up asshole he is," Savannah replies, her voice rising. “You’re supposed to be at the ranch to heal and take some time for yourself. At the rate you’re going, you’re going to be worse off than when you arrived.”
I run my hands through my hair. “Maybe if I just talk to him about it... But I can't even bring it up, you know…We just met. What do I even say? ‘Adrian, you seem to be fucked up bad and I don't want to have anything to do with you.’ Does that sound good?”
In reality, I know that I don't want to say that to him.
I want these issues to go away.
I want to end up with Adrian, happily ever after.
But how?
“Just a sec hon,” says Savannah. Then I hear her talking to her cat.
I set my phone down on the kitchen counter and bury my face in my hands.
Why am I still fighting for Adrian?
Why can’t I just let him go before this whole thing consumes me whole?
For the life of me, I can’t understand it. I hear Savannah call out to me and I pick the phone back up
“Babe, I’m not trying to be harsh, but what is talking going to accomplish, huh? Didn’t you try that already. And wasn’t he sweet and reassuring? He has lots of issues to overcome and you have to be right by his side while he does so. Do you have the energy and the will to do that? Do you love him enough to sacrifice your own sanity for a while? Until he gets better?”
“Well, I don't know….”
“He has issues, serious issues by the sound of things, and it doesn’t matter what either of you feel if he doesn’t get help.”
I swallow. “I know.”
“Until he does, you can’t save him from himself,” Savannah continues, in a softer voice. “No matter how much you want to.”
Otherwise, he’s going to end up dragging me down with him.
Did I work so hard to free myself of my old life and its shackles, only to end up right back in another man’s clutches.
It doesn’t matter how different I think Adrian is.
Or how great I feel when I’m around him.
“Your therapist would probably agree with me,” Savannah adds, after a brief pause. “You need to keep your distance, at least until he sorts himself out.”
I sigh. “Okay. Listen, Sav, my hours is almost up. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
Savannah exhales. “Okay, I love you. Please don’t do anything stupid.”
I wince. “I’ll try not to. Love you too. Give Skittles a hug from me.”
With that, the line goes dead, and I’m left to the mercy of my thoughts again. Frowning, I change out of my pajamas and into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
When I step outside and see the wilting flowers and boxes of chocolate outside my room, I feel even worse.
I put them inside, my sandals sinking into the wet ground with a squelching sound.
