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Maren glances at me, her throat working as she swallows. I’m scared as shit, but she’s clearly terrified. I have to believe what the doctor’s telling us and assure my girlfriend that everyone really will be okay.
“We got this,” I say to Maren. “You’re young and healthy.I’ll also hire some extra hands to help with Katie so you can put your feet up more often.”
She smiles. “I can handle Katie.”
“Of course you can. But you can also take care of yourself and rest when you need to.”
Dr. Yelich nods. “He’s right.”
“Okay.” Maren nods. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we have a healthy baby.”
“And wewillhave a healthy baby,” I say, even as my heart spasms at the possibility of that not being true.
But Maren’s smile gets bigger, and Dr. Yelich comments on how cute we are, and I shove the thought aside.
“Daddy, are we here now?”
Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see Katie straining to get a better look out the window, kicking her little legs when she sees other girls her age entering the nondescript building.
I smile. “We’re here, yes.”
Maren unbuckles her seatbelt. “I can’t wait to see what our surprise is, Katie. Can you?”
“I can’t wait I can’t wait!”
Maren looks at me, a tired smile on her face. “Whatever it is, you’re sweet to treat us.”
“Figured it’d be fun to get out of the house for a bit.”
Weather’s been chilly these days. I don’t love it, but Maren definitely doesn’t mind the cooler temperatures. Now that the baby is getting big, Maren is always hot, walking around the house in shorts and a T-shirt despite the fact that it’s forty degrees outside.
Needless to say, she enjoys the cold walks on the beach we take as a family on the weekends. But Katie and I usually freeze our asses off, which is why I decided to plan a trip to Wilmington today.
Well, part of the reason. I know Katie is going to love cheer. I also wanted Maren to see that education isn’t bound to the classroom. There’s got to be a career that combines her great loves—kids, cheer, school.
Maren doesn’t talk much about her job search. She’s busy with school, Katie, and prepping for the baby, so I get it. But I know it weighs on her. It would weigh on me too. Especially knowing that at some point, it’s going to get weird for me to be paying her to take care of Katie. The shift from nanny to stepmom is going to happen, and then what? Maren will be out of a job with a new baby in tow. I can’t leave her stranded like that. Not when she’s worked really hard to set herself up for a successful run at something.
I’ve taken it upon myself to help her figure out what that something could be.
’Cause yeah, I’m more than a little invested in her happiness.
I haven’t told her I love her yet. Things between us have been so fucking good lately, I guess I don’t want to rock the boat. I also don’t want to take her by surprise. The whole placenta previa thing still spooks me, even though Maren’s been just fine. I’d hate to incite an emotional reaction that would cause her to have any symptoms.
Besides, she hasn’t said anything to me either about being in love. But it’s obvious the sex isn’t just sex anymore. And we spend all our time together. If I’m not working, I’m with Maren. She’ll go back to the crofter to study. But that’s about it. She sleeps in my bed. Showers in my bathroom. Naps on my couch, Katie curled up with her underneath a bright pink and purple princess blanket.
Long story short, I’m waiting for the right time to tell her how I feel. Which is, clearly, obsessed.
When my mind wanders, it wanders to a ring. Delicate gold band. A diamond that straddles the line between tastefulandholy shitthat’s huge.Heart shaped, maybe? Seems right, considering Maren helped me find my heart again.
It’s way too soon. This is all way too new. I could easily blame the fact that my mind skips several steps ahead on the pregnancy. You knock a girl up, you marry her. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’d be thinking about this shit even if Maren wasn’t pregnant.
I’m terrified.
I’ve never been happier.
“Stay put,” I tell Maren. “I’ll get Katie, then I’ll help you out.”
Maren chuckles softly. “I’m pregnant, not broken. I can get out of the car myself.”
