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Tuck takes my other hand in his.
I wait for him to say something. Anything.
But then I’m hit by another white-hot wave of cramps, and the only thing I can focus on is making it through.
Making it to the other side of whatever this awful night brings.
twenty-six
. . .
Tuck
Worst Case Scenario
Maren squeezesmy hand and whimpers, turning onto her side.
“Cramps,” she says. “They’re getting worse.”
Checking my watch—I’ve started to time the episodes, and we’re about eight minutes apart now—I squat beside the bed and rub her back. All the while, a single thought runs through my head.
I’m gonna to lose everything tonight.
The worst has happened to me before. No surprise that’s where my mind goes the second shit hits the fan. Zero to a hundred in one hour flat.
In the space of that hour, I went from sleeping next to the woman I love to thinking about what I’ll tell Katie when I come home alone tomorrow.
Maren is gone.
The baby is gone.
The family that is all I’ve ever wanted is gone. Not once, but twice.
It’s happening again.
Stop.Continuing to rub Maren’s back as the contractions pass, I tell myself to stop dwelling on the worst-case scenario. Chances are Maren is fine. The baby will be fine.
Everything will be fine.
Or maybe it won’t.
I squeeze Maren’s hand again. To let her know I’m here for her, yes. But also so she doesn’t realize I’m shaking.
She’s crying quietly on the bed. I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing—I’m worried I’ll break down too—so I don’t say a word. Maren needs me to be strong right now. She needs to feel safe.
She ain’t gonna feel safe if I’m a mess.
So I just squeeze her hand. Let her know I’m here. All while trying, hard, to keep my thoughts from circling the drain.
I mentally recite the facts. Dr. Yelich prepared us for this. She said it happens to women with Maren’s condition. She said serious complications are very rare. Or did she say just rare? I don’t remember.
I do remember that the baby had all its parts and a strong heartbeat at our last appointment.
Maren is seized by another round of cramping when a man wearing glasses and a mild smile walks into the room.
“Evening, y’all. I understand we’re having some cramping and bleeding tonight?” He crosses to the sink and washes his hands. “Looks like the cramps are happening now, huh?”
Maren nods.
