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“You know what I mean. We haven’t had a real conversation in weeks. And the sex—God, Tuck, don’t you miss the sex?”
He swallows. “Of course I do. But after the bleeding and the cramps, I didn’t want to risk it.”
“The doctor said it was fine.”
“I don’t feel fine about it.”
I feel a stab of panic when I realize he’s not touching me back. “That’s not why you won’t touch me, though, is it?”
More silence. I drop my hand.
“Tuck?” My voice is thick with tears.
His eyes are pleading when he says, “I’m sorry.”
Everything inside me heaves. I start to cry. Tuck still doesn’t reach for me.
“Okay,” I manage.
“This stuff—the placenta previa and the bleeding—it scared the shit out of me, Maren.”
Sniffling, I nod. “That’s fair. It was scary. But that’s all it was—a scare. The baby and I are fine.”
He sniffles too. “But I could lose y’all at any moment. I’m struggling to wrap my head around that fact while taking care of you and Katie and work. It’s a lot.”
His words are a knife through the heart. “One, the chances of me randomly bleeding out are very, very small. And two, while I appreciate all that you do for Katie and me, we’re pretty good at taking care of ourselves. Or really, I take care of her—it’s literally my job. You’re the one who’s constantly disappearing.”
“I told you, I have to work.” He flexes his jaw. “The bills don’t pay themselves.”
I stare at him. He’s never lorded over me the fact that he makes tons of money. It’s a cheap shot, and it’s not at all like him.
“Of course they don’t. I never, ever take for granted thebeautiful life you’ve given us. But you’ve been absent from that life over the past two weeks. It makes me nervous.”
He swallows again and crosses his arms. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“You know, if you’re going to apologize for something, apologize for leaving me totally on my own at twenty-seven weeks pregnant.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” he replies sharply. “You’re not alone.”
Scoffing, I shake my head. “You’re unbelievable. You know what I mean. Whatever connection you and I had, it’s been totally gone since we left the hospital. You’re pulling back, and I want to know why.”
He erupts. “I’m trying, all right? I’m worried—sometimes I worry that I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” I say, the saliva thickening in my mouth.
Tuck shakes his head. “Never mind. Forget what I said. I’m just under a lot of pressure right now.”
I continue to stare at him. Where the hell did the man I fell in love with go? This guy right here, he’s only a shadow of the Tuck I know.
“You know what?” My heart drums inside my chest. “Let me take the pressure off you, then. I’ll go stay with my parents for a while. I’ll take care of myself and the baby while you figure your shit out, because this is not fair to any of us.”
His eyes flicker with panic. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t care what you meant. Look, I appreciate you taking care of me. But it’s really fucking hard to be with you when I can’tbewith you. It’s messing with my head, and that’s the last thing I need right now. So I’ll go.”
I turn around to do just that, but Tuck grabs me, wrapping a hand around my arm. “Maren, wait.”
How sick is this? I’m so eager for his touch, foranysign of interest from him, that I nearly swoon from the contact.
