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With that, the call ends, and I turn to Leo, my nostrils flaring with irritation. “I’m like a sister to you!? Of all things, why would you say that? Especially after we spent the last week—” Fucking like rabbits. Having mind-blowing sex. “In bed.”
Leo’s lips draw into a tight line. “I was reassuring your brother. He’s worried—you know how he is with you. What was I supposed to say? I’ll protect her like a boyfriend, like a lover.”
“Well, no, but you didn’t have to saythat.”
A muscle in his jaw flexes. “You are the one who laid out the ground rules. This is only a hookup, a short-term thing, so what does it matter?”
I huff out an irritated breath, but I don’t know why I’m pushing the issue. Is it because his words made me feel like the girl who had a misplaced crush on her older brother’s best friend and got burned?
But Leo’s right. Yulian needed reassurance that he will keep me safe, like a brother would. I’m silly to be feeling anything but grateful towards him.
“Forget it,” I insist. “I’m just feeling a bit emotional about the birthday stuff. Anyhow, I need a shower,” I add, trying to keep my tone light. I don’t look back at him as I head to the bathroom, and I’m relieved he doesn’t follow me.
As I step into the steaming hot shower, I vow to wash his scent off me. If I could go back and erase his touch, I would, because somewhere during our time on this yacht, it’s like my body forgot that it hates him, and my mind is so damn turned around, it feels like I might still love him… which isinsane.
I cannot still be in love with Leo.
I press my palms into my eye sockets and try to slow my racing breath. All my carefully laid plans feel like they are going off the rails. I’m hurtling towards the danger zone and have no idea how to put on the breaks.
Or even if I want to.
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
7 YEARS AGO
ALYONA
“Can you pass the bread, please,”Andrei says from beside his father near the head of the table. I smile politely and pass over the basket. Across from me, Leo makes a noise of strangled pleasure, but covers it up under a cough.
Pakhan gives him a stern look. “Leonid, do you have something stuck in your throat?”
“I’m fine,” Leo grits, stilling my foot with his hand under the table. But I’m only getting him back for last night, when he fingered me and demanded I come for him in the cloakroom at a fundraising gala that we all attended. Anyone could have walked in on us, making it both thrilling and terrifying, but damn, did I come hard.
Leo shoots me a look from across the table, one that saysI’m going to get you back, and it’s going to be so sweet.Since I’ve tortured him enough for one night, I lower my foot from his raging hard cock pressed tight against his jeans. Coming in his pants at a family dinner wouldn’t be a good look.
I spear a roasted carrot with my fork as Yulian and Daniil discuss who they want to win the World Cup this year, with Andrei jumping in to offer his opinion. It’s nice to have everyone home to enjoy a normal Sunday dinner, even if it’s just for a short while. They all return to Russia next week. Andrei and Yulian to finish their training, and the pakhan to attend to various business matters.
From across the table, Serge Kozlov regards me while slowly chewing a piece of steak. Although my father was the right-hand man to the pakhan, the two couldn’t have been more different. Serge is severe and stern, unlike my father, who was always ready with a smile. Maybe it was their contrasting dispositions that made them work well together.
“Alyona,” he says in that intimidating voice of his, and I sit up straight in my seat. “I’m happy to hear you’re taking time to seriously consider your options. Your future.” He reaches for his wineglass before adding, “Your father would have wanted you to get a good education.”
Bitterness catches in my throat at the mention of my father. His absence from my life burns deep even six months later. More so watching my mother fade away. She doesn’t get out of bed some days, and when she does, it’s like a ghost is in the house. The pakhan is kind to allow her to live here, though I imagine it has to do with the guilt he feels that my father took a bullet meant for him, or at least that’s what Leo tells me.
In my parents’ absence, no one is too focused on what I’m doing. I’m free to live outside of the bratva, which is what I want—to distance myself from this world of violence and power games, and all the stupid pointless deaths that are the result of it.
I plaster on a smile and nod politely. “Yes, I am thinking carefully about what’s next for me. There are a few options I am exploring.” Truthfully, while I’ve been accepted into several colleges, I’ve yet to make a decision. With my summer wholly consumed by Leo, thoughts of school and internships have been pushed to the back burner.
Serge gives me a curt nod. “And what is it that you are considering?” he asks, sitting back in his seat, intense dark eyes drinking me in.
I take a small sip of water, the cool liquid steadying my nerves. “I am interested in a career in fashion. I’m deciding between Parsons School of Design in the city or doing an internship with a designer in Paris before I commit to a two-year degree.”
My eyes dart to Leo, who seems to be hanging on my every word, a frown on his lips. We haven’t really talked about what happens after this summer, but there’s nothing much to discuss. He’ll take the oath and earn his stars, and I’ll move on to the next phase of my life.
“Go to Paris, sis,” Yulian says between sips of wine. “You’re young and you have your whole life to live in New York. A year or two in Paris will be fun. Exactly what you need.” What he means is that I need to escape the sadness that has hung over our family for the last six months. But he doesn’t know that life hasn’t been all sad for me. Leo is the ray of sunshine poking through the clouds. He’s kept me going through the hardest period of my life.
“Yeah, maybe,” I respond, shrugging. “I’m going to take a few more weeks to decide.”
“No need to rush your decision,” Leo grumbles, glaring at Yulian, who seems completely oblivious. “You don’t even like French food anyways.”
