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I don’t know why I want him here, close by. But I do. There’s a pull between us, something I can’t deny because I feel it every time he’s near me. As if we’re magnets, a positive and negative being drawn together.
I don’t know what to make of it.
But I know it’s something dangerous.
12
Logan
What can I say to her?
How can I deny her?
I don’t respond, but I do nod. I suppose it’s my kind of reply. I turn and head for the chair, perched in the corner of her room. She eyes the door but then seems to think better of it. She should know that even if she makes it downstairs, there’s no way she’s getting out of the house. I’ve locked her in. Safely.
“Do you like living out here?” she asks, startling me because I didn’t expect her to want to talk. I’m not sure I’m ready to speak about my life or what I need or want. Even though I gave her more of me through a website, I don’t think she needs to hear about me face to face.
The anonymity of being online was easy. This? This is something completely different. It’s dangerous. I can’t let her get under my skin. And even as I think it, I know it’s a lie because she’s already there, burrowing her sweetness and innocence down into the depths of me.
She watches me, waiting for an answer, but I just shrug, pulling my phone out of my pocket and focusing on the email from Dax. Nothing more came after his initial email, and I know we’d be in more trouble if it weren’t for him helping me.
I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for them to get information, but I have a feeling my father will find her apartment before that happens.
“How long were you hiding out?” I ask her, but I don’t look at her. I don’t want to see the pain etched on her from knowing my father would marry her, bed her, and make her give him more children.
He may have waited until she was eighteen, but that doesn’t excuse him from what he wants to do. I look up to see her staring out the window. She doesn’t want to tell me, but I need to know.
“Vera, when did you run?”
“When I turned eighteen. I got one of my father’s trusted contacts to make me new paperwork, ID card, passport, but I couldn’t leave. I wanted to fly away, perhaps find a life in a new country, but I never got as far. The thought of leaving my father, even after what he did, wasn’t something I wanted to do.”
“So you stayed in harm’s way?” I know I sound rude and callous, but the thought of my father finding her, touching her, has jealousy coursing through me. I want to kill the fucker for even attempting to marry her.
“And you’re here because?” She turns to me. “If you hadn’t walked out, I wouldn’t have to live in captivity.” Her anger is back, and it’s warranted because she’s right. But how could she even think I could want her back then? “All I wanted was a normal life,” she tells me wistfully, but her eyes are trained on the window. On the forest beyond. Even if she did get out of the cabin, she wouldn’t get far because there’s nothing out there.
“And what exactly is a normal life?” I ask, wanting to give her that more than anything, but even though I do, I know it’s impossible.
“A home somewhere scenic, a playful dog, maybe even someone who loves me. A partner who can take the darkness that courses through my veins and make me see it’s not stupid or crazy. Someone who accepts that I need those things. Pleasure. Happiness. Things that normal people have.”
“What about children?” I don’t know why I ask, but it’s something I need to know. For me. For her. I want nothing more than to take her, give her those things. I can head into town and find a dog for her. I can even take those dark desires and make them mine. She once accepted my needs, but then again, at the time, it was all fantasy. She wasn’t really here. I wasn’t really stalking her while she sleeps and getting myself off.
“Perhaps.” There’s a sad smile on her face, then she turns to me, directing those gem-like eyes on me, and I feel my heart kick against my ribs. The pain of the rhythm steals the breath from my lungs. “What about you?”
I’m not ready to talk about that. I wanted to know her, not spill my secrets to her right here and now. I shake my head, glancing away because I can’t bring myself to admit what I want. I brought her here in the hopes that she’ll be able to accept me in real life, not just online, but something tells me that’s not going to happen.
