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His calm smirk is fake, that’s obvious, and I don’t want to agitate him more. Besides, it looks like my stress finally gave way to hunger, and my mouth waters at the smell of cilantro. I accept the plate with a nod, and for the next few minutes we eat in silence, each contemplating what just happened.
What am I gonna do now? How do I find a way out of here? Paolo clearly isn’t gonna help me—but by now, I know he’s the main obstacle. I dive so deep into my thoughts that when I hear a sudden knock on the door, it makes me startle.
“You’re having fun, I see.”
It looks like the knock was nothing but a pretense because the guy enters the dining room without much hesitance. He’s tall, strong, and Italian like all of them are, only his smile seems a little brighter than what I’m used to here. It takes me a moment to recognize him as one of the guys who were in the car on the day of my abduction, and as soon as I do I purse my lips and look away from him.
“Oh, someone is in a bad mood.” The guy laughs and comes to a halt next to Paolo. “Don’t you know how to handle such a fiery woman?”
“Worry about your own ladies first, Louis,” Paolo retorts with a half-joking glare, making the guy chuckle. But they don’t keep their light attitude for long as Paolo asks a moment later, “Why are you here?”
“Because of the lady.” Louis gestures at me, and I raise my eyebrows, eyeing him from head to toe. What is this, some kind of a joke?
“I don’t even know you.”
“But I know you, Señorita Jacinta, as well as your father who is giving me plenty of headaches these days.” Louis shakes his head with theatrical disapproval before turning to Paolo. Then, his expression changes into something more serious, and I can see an actual member of a Mafia clan instead of a clown. “Can I talk here?”
Paolo glances at me and nods. “Yes, go ahead.”
“The Escarras have spread a message through the underground,” Louis starts and takes out his phone, showing Paolo a photo of something. I only catch a glimpse of it, but it’s enough to recognize raging fire. “They’re gonna burn the whole city if he doesn’t get his daughter back.”
The words send a wave of chills down my spine, and I have to lay my hands on the table to steady myself. God. Dad is actually gonna kill them all to get me—and then what? Either Paolo will kill me, or I’ll end up back in Dad’s arms without a chance to have a breath of fresh air, and I don’t even know which option is worse.
Louis’ words make my heart tighten with horror, but they don’t seem to impress Paolo too much. He chuckles and shrugs it off, leaning back in his chair. “They’re always so dramatic.”
“Are we gonna do anything about it?” Louis doesn’t sound very concerned either, but at least it looks like he’s taking it more seriously.
“No.” Paolo looks at me and smiles, taking a sip of his margarita. “Let them keep searching.”
Louis leaves soon after with a rather crude smile and a wish to have a pleasant evening, and I can’t help but glare after him. What a moron! Are all of them like that? God, it’s like I’m some kind of whore. Still fuming, I get back to the food with renewed vigor, and when Paolo offers me a glass of wine I don’t even hesitate before accepting it.
Our fingers brush when he hands me the glass, but I pretend to ignore it. I pretend like it doesn’t leave a hot trace on my skin and doesn’t make something inside of me tighten. But no, that’s enough! How long am I gonna let him affect me like this?
“You seem upset,” Paolo says all of a sudden, and only then do I realize that he’s watching me with a dark and curious gaze. “Is it because of your father?”
“No,” I say maybe a little too fast, but I don’t want him to know the actual reason behind my behavior. I don’t want Paolo to realize how much power he has over me when he looks at me like that.
But it seems that he misreads my rushed answer. He hums in response and looks at the fire while the servants take away our empty plates. The dinner is over, and I know I have to get up and leave—but something in the depth of my wine glass and the flickers of fire in Paolo’s eyes makes me stay. Just one shared glass of wine has never harmed anyone.
“I hope you don’t mind a personal question, Jacinta,” Paolo says with a low voice and turns to me. I say nothing—I don’t want any personal questions, not from him—but apparently, Paolo takes it as a yes. “If you care about Gerardo so much, why did you leave him in the first place? I thought you hated your family, but now I am confused about what you want.”
Oh. I let out a sad chuckle that sounds more like a sigh and turn to the fireplace. That’s a difficult question, and I’m not sure I want to open my heart to him…but maybe that’s my way out? I glance at Paolo, swirling the wine glass in my hand. I don’t lose anything by telling him more about me—but maybe I’ll be able to gain his sympathy.
Maybe if Paolo hears my story, he’ll understand my desire to get out of this city and let me go. It’s quite a silly hope, but what else do I have? So I take a sip of my wine and let out a long exhale, feeling my shoulders slump from the weight of my memories.
“It’s hard to understand, of course. You live your happy life with your family, doing drugs, killing people, and not listening to anyone, right?” I glance at Paolo with a bitter chuckle, but he only frowns in response. “You love your family, and I love mine—but I don’t have what you have. I don’t have freedom. Since Mom died, Dad has been obsessed with keeping me safe—and for him, that means having me under control all day every day. You’ve seen my guards, haven’t you? You know how much security surrounds me every day.”
I chuckle again and take in a breath, trying to fight the lump rising in my throat from putting my deepest pain and longing into words.
“I can’t take even a step without someone being there to watch where I go—and it’s always been like that. Even when I was a child. Who’d want to play with a girl you can’t touch? Who’d want to be friends with a girl you can’t speak to? Wherever I go, whoever I talk to, Rafael was always there like a shadow, and…that’s not life, you know?” I look up at Paolo, instinctively looking for understanding. “At least, not for a human. I’ve always been more of a bird hidden in a golden cage. Plenty of toys, plenty of food, and a good master—so sing, birdie, be happy because that’s all you need.”
I have to pause and turn away from Paolo to wipe the tears in the corners of my eyes. I didn’t know it would be so difficult to talk about this, but at the same time, it’s so so easy. It’s like I’ve been waiting for it all my life, and finally I have a chance to share my hardships—and it doesn’t matter if it’s someone who will never care about my feelings.
Paolo is still quietly listening, and that’s enough.
“I couldn’t do anything when I was younger, but now I’m eighteen, and I can finally take my destiny into my own hands.”
I straighten my shoulders and breathe out the grief of my memories, allowing hope to settle in my chest—before I realize that the only person standing in my way is in front of me. So I turn to Paolo with a pleading gaze and lean toward him, hoping to deliver my feelings.
