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She looks at me for a moment with pursed lips and nods. “Okay.”
Misha bounces in his spot before taking off toward the door of the house. He looks a little overstimulated, but it’s better than seeing him hidden behind the mask of indifference. Ten years of his childhood were taken away, so it’s time to bring some of it back. I watch him with a mindless smile when Sasha’s voice interrupts my thoughts.
“I was serious, Louis.” She crosses her arms, watching me with a squint. “If you do something like this again, Iwillkill you.”
Ah, hasn’t she promised that too many times already?
But her words remind me of Misha's words from before, and as soon as she turns to the house, I hurry forward and catch her shoulder. “Wait, Sa—”
She immediately spins around, and before I know it her dagger is already under my chin. Okay, got it. I let go of her shoulder and step back with my hands raised, holding her gaze.
“I didn’t mean to—ah, whatever. Do you really think that I killed your mother?”
Sasha’s eyes immediately widen, her grip on her dagger tightens, and for a moment it looks like she’s gonna slash my throat here and now. But after a moment of tension, she breathes out and steps back, looking away.
“I know you did,” she says quietly, and my whole body warms up with a wave of protest.
“No, I didn’t! I swear, I’ve never touched your mother, I don’t even know who she is.”
“Who she was,” Sasha corrects me immediately and looks up, eyeing me with an unreadable gaze. “Of course you didn’t touch her. You had other people to do it for you.”
“What? No, it’s not that, I just—”
“Stop this bullshit,” Sasha cuts me off with a grimace of disgust. “God, you can’t even admit to your own crimes like a man. I can’t believe I used to love you.”
And for some reason, it goes straight into my chest, piercing my heart like a needle. I freeze in my place, silently watching her turn away and walk into the house. No, no, I don’t care how harsh that sounded, it can’t be real. I know she still has feelings for me, I just—
God, I really need someone to explain to me what’s going on.
Chapter 10 - Sasha
I go down the stairs and stop at the edge of the living room with my hands on my hips. “Misha, have you finished your homework?”
He quickly sits up, turning around to look at me from the carpet, and by one look at his face I know that he hasn’t. It’s been just five days since Misha got enrolled in the local school, and he’s already slacking. I mean, it’s good that he doesn’t feel the pressure of Father’s disapproval, but still.
“But Mom, it’s Friday!” he pouts with a complaint in his voice. “I have the whole weekend for that.”
Oh, is it Friday? I close my eyes with a sigh and pinch my nose. Damn it. I’ve kinda lost count of the days since we moved here. How long has it been? Two weeks? Three? I shake my head and open my eyes. God, it’s been almost a month, and I’m still here.
“Alright, well…” I look around, trying to find a way to avoid admitting my own dumb mistake. “The sooner you do it, the better.”
Misha purses his lips in response, and even though it’s not the best behavior I’m still glad to see him being more lively than before. “But, Mom, I want to play some more. The Red Leopards have almost defeated the Black Octopuses, I can’t let it happen again!”
He pointedly looks at the whole fleet of ships and boats engaged in what looks like a fierce sea battle. Almost all of these toys have been brought by Louis, and you know what? It looks like a goddamn bribery to me. And it works!
Ever since Louis stole Misha to go on that damn trip to Navy Pier, the two of them have been getting along like best friends. And okay, I have to admit, it makes me happy to see Misha being more open and talkative these days, but…ah, come on, it’s Louis we’re talking about! He can’t just casually steal my son’s affection, it’s not fair.
I huff, trying to breathe out my frustration, and focus on Misha. “Alright, you can keep playing, but don’t forget that you have a painting lesson later, okay? Mrs. Lee is gonna arrive in half an hour.”
He nods, already diving back into his game, and I watch him for a few seconds before turning around to the kitchen. I know Louis is at home, but he’s been staying in his office for most of the day, and I don’t really like it. How am I supposed to know when he’s gonna show up? I’m not keen on bumping into him, to be honest.
Even after weeks of living together, I still feel tense in Louis’s presence. The sheath of my dagger is pressed into my back, secured under the waistband of my sweatpants, and it makes me feel like I’m in constant danger. Which maybe I am, I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like Louis wants to kill me, but I don’t appreciate the ease and confidence with which he handles me.
God, I really should’ve dealt with him a long time ago. I lean on the counter, distantly listening to the growing murmur of the kettle and staring into the distance. Louis is my enemy,ourenemy. Maybe Misha doesn’t understand it yet, especially after Louis blabbered to him about his innocence, but when he grows up, hewillunderstand.
Louis is not our friend, and Ihave tokill him. So why the hell haven’t I done it yet?
I drop my head between my shoulders and shake my head with a sigh. But how can I do this to Misha? Louis is pretty much the only friend he’s ever had—or at least, Misha sees him as a friend. If I kill Louis or even just harm him, how can I look Misha in the eyes after that? How can I look at my own reflection?
