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But when I started talking about Jonah and what the past three or four years had been like during our engagement, he sat up a little straighter, his expression shifting from blank indifference to downright anger.
His hands flexed over his knees as I told him about Jonah cheating on me repeatedly and how I’d tried to leave him once before, only to hit an iron wall when it came to our parents. Jonah thought I was his property in a way. He saw me in the same way his father did—a means to an end. A way to win. A piggy bank.
And then I told him about fleeing. How I’d run, how I’d left it all behind.
And now my parents and Jonah knew where I was. Maybe not Hot Springs, not yet, but they would. I wanted them to. I wanted them to find me here with Pete, if only to show them that I was an adult and could make my own decisions about the future.
Like having a baby with a man I didn’t know at all.
Pete eventually stood up and started pacing back and forth across the room. I could feel his anger. I could see it written all over his face. I wasn’t sure if he was angry at me, or my story, or the fact that I was here asking for his help.
“They don’t know that I’m here.”
“How? You said they were able to find your new number. Are you sure they don’t have another way to track you?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “They have enough money to pull strings. Jonah’s dad is a senator. He can do whatever he feels needs to be done to bring me back.”
“And what do you want me to do?” Pete asked pointedly.
I bristled at his tone.
“Help me,” I answered, hating how weak the words were on my tongue. “Pretend that… You want this, with me.”
He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. Something flashed behind his eyes that left me wondering if maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that actually did want this. But that was a silly thought, wasn’t it? Of course, he didn’t want this. Who in their right mind would?
“Why’d you come back here a month ago?” he asked after a moment. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “If you were really running, why take a detour to Montana?”
“I wanted… I needed to know something,” I replied, meeting his eyes.
His jaw flexed.
“And did you find out what you needed toknow?” His words were laced with sudden venom that had my stomach twisting into a knot. “Is that why you snuck out in the middle of the night?”
“That’s not why.”
“Hm,” he grunted, sitting back down. “Well, this is a lot to take in.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize,” he said, cutting me off. “Had you left a phone number behind I would have called you to say the condom broke. I found it the next morning, when I was walking around wondering why the hell you left!”
“I didn’t think this was anything more than a—a one-night stand—”
“Yeah, that’s why you came back after a year, isn’t it?”
I swallowed hard, hating the bite to his voice as he watched the guilt shift over my face. Should I tell him the real reason I came back? That I’d been thinking about him day in and day out for a year? That nothing else had occupied my mind and he was the reason I left home in the first place?
That he had been the first person to ever show me that there was more out there for me.
“I’m not in the habit of just sleeping with people—”
“Well, that’s all fine and dandy,” he said through gritted teeth. “How do you know it’s mine?”
“Why are you angry with me right now?”
“Because—” He paused, and the once hard lines of his face softened a bit. “Nothing. Never mind.”
“I’m sorry I’m doing this to you. I don’t expect anything from you, Pete. Okay? I don’t need your money.” A lie. “I don’t need you in this kids’ life. I just needed to tell you. I needed to tell you what I’m up against, what they’ll be up against. What I may have to ask you to do if I end up at home again and I’m forced to go through with the wedding. This baby won’t be allowed in my life and I have no one else to ask—to ask to take it.” My heart shattered at the idea of that actually happening. Jane would help me in an instant, I knew, but I couldn’t burden her like that. “I’ll go—” I started to stand but he held out his hand to stop me.
