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She refused to admit that he was right. “The new contract would’ve forced me to live with you longer.”
“So you knew I wouldn’t try and take Irene.”
“I…I didn’t know for sure.”
“But in your heart…you knew.” He took another step and stopped next to the head of the bed.
Her pulse sped up with his nearness. She wanted to wrap her arms around his waist and hold him close.
“Let’s get rid of the contract completely. We’ll tear it up. Throw it away like it never existed, and it’ll just be me and you. Husband and wife.”
“No. We will not destroy the contract. There’s no reason to. I know you say that you never would’ve taken my baby from me, and I admit that sometimes I was sure you’d never do it.” Her eyes filled with tears. “But you must’ve considered it at some point because it was in the contract. I never would’ve done that to you. Never. I don't care how much I hated you. I’d never try to take your daughter away from you.”
“You hate me?”
The look on his face was enough to make her cry. She wanted to grab him and tell him that she could never hate him because she loved him. The person she hated was herself. She hated how weak she was—how weak loving him made her. So she didn't say anything; she just stared at him and watched all the emotion fade from his eyes until there was nothing but emptiness.
CHAPTER 12: Harker
The next few days were the most wonderful and miserable in Harker's life. He stayed at the hospital with Alison and Irene, loving every minute he got to spend with his daughter.
When they had company, like right now, he kept mostly in the background, soaking in Alison—her smiles, her laughter, her constant chatter. She was the woman he'd fallen in love with—words and joy spilling from her and filling his life with something bright and warm.
“I’m starving,” said Estelle.
“Would you like me to go get you something to eat?” he stood.
“No. Sit.” Estelle smiled at him. “I’ll run down to the cafeteria. I’ll get us all something sweet.” She smiled at Alison. “Like those chocolate glazed donuts.”
“Oh, those are wonderful.” Aunt Tiff stood. “We should get some to take home.”
“Aren’t they gone by now?” Alison picked up her phone. “It’s after ten a.m.”
“They make a second batch.” Estelle grinned. “I made friends with the lady who bakes them, but I’d better hurry.” The two older ladies left, and the room fell silent.
This happened every time they were alone. As soon as the last guest or nurse left, Alison’s smile disappeared, and her words dried up. It was like she tucked away everything that made her Alison and hid it somewhere he couldn't go.
It made him furious and sad, but mostly it hurt. Part of him wanted to lash out at her, to do anything he could to try and make the pain go away, but the bigger part of him just wanted her back.
His eyes lowered from Alison to their daughter who slept on her mother’s chest. He had to figure out a way to make this work. He kept telling himself that hate wasn’t the worst emotion she could feel toward him. Dismissal, disinterest, those were worse. He’d seen that in everyone’s eyes—foster parents, teachers and the other kids—most of his life. He could’ve vanished, and no one would’ve cared. Alison still saw him. She still felt something for him. She’d loved him once. He needed to figure out how to help her love him again.
Dr. Shupal walked into the room. “Hello.” Her smile was warm and friendly. “Let me have a look at that adorable baby of yours.”
Alison handed her Irene.
“So precious.” Dr. Shupal cradled her in her arms. “I have good news. You both get to go home today.”
Harker wanted to shout that it wasn’t fucking good news to him. It was going to be a lot harder to convince Alison to give him another chance when he barely saw her.
“Everything looks good.” Dr. Shupal handed the baby back to Alison. “A nurse will be here in a moment to go over things.”
“Can you wait until my mom and aunt come back? I’ll be staying with them, so I want to make sure they hear everything too.”
“Ah, sure.” Dr. Shupal glanced at him.
He wanted to shout that she was his wife, the mother of his child, and she’d be staying with him, but he couldn’t. He had no cards left to play, no way to manipulate her anymore. So instead he said, “They should be back soon. They went to the cafeteria for some donuts.” He smiled like his world wasn’t crumbling around him.
Alison’s eyes met his. She was surprised. Good. If she thought he was giving up, she might be easier to win back.
