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“No one else is coming,” Nina says, walking over to the couch. “It’s just us.”
I inhale and exhale with purpose. This is it. I’m going to make my move tonight. When I finally do, it’s perfect. The way she feels and moans.
I wasn’t aware until we started that she was a virgin, I was terrified about not being gentle enough with her. She was ravenous though. Once I began to kiss her, she started pulling at my clothes. It was over quickly; I was way too excited. I didn’t want to ask her the stereotypical ‘was it good for you’ question.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m great. I’m glad it was with you,” she says, taking my hand as the horror movie we’d started plays in the background. “My first time.” She looks sheepishly at the ground.
I pretend to be surprised and bring a hand to her face drawing her to me, “You said you’d done it before.” I chuckle.
“I’m sorry, I lied. Was I okay?”
The vulnerability and sweetness of Nina slam the realization into me, I love her. This is it. She is it for me.
The dream shifts and she stands over me outside the Halloween party, pointing in my face. I’m dressed as Woody from Toy Story and not Maverick. She’s laughing at me.
“Thanks for getting rid of my virginity,” she cackles like a witch as Buzz Lightyear comes over to put his arm around her. “Now I can be with a real man.”
“No, Nina,” I say, reaching out for her. My hands enclose on her boobs, and she says my name.
“Travis, Travis, wake up. You’re having a nightmare. I can hear you groaning and yelling across the house. Wake up.”
As I become aware that I’m not asleep anymore, I realize the boobs I’m holding onto are very real. I scoot back and end up hitting my head on the wall. Nina leans down next to me, a look of concern on her face.
“You were having a nightmare. I’m sorry for waking you, but you were seriously loud.”
“No, boobs,” I spit out, “sorry, Buzz Lightyear.”
“The space ranger?” She tilts her head at me, staring at her face.
“Yeah, sorry I was having a nightmare,” I say, sitting up. “I’m sorry about the…” I gesture to her chest, which is cupped by her nightgown. She covers herself self-consciously. “It’s okay. I just thought you called my name.”
As she says it, her cheeks flush, and she looks mighty fucking adorable.
“I may have,” I say, “I’m not sure what I was dreaming about.” I lie, refusing to tell her I was dreaming about how she rejected me. I’m a man, and I’m not about to spew my guts out to her just so she can trample all over them.
“Okay, ah… night,” she mumbles and walks out of the room, closing the door gently behind her.
“Night,” I say, lying back down. I know I called her name, several times even.
Jesus. Running a hand through my hair, I stare up at the ceiling, clown monkey staring back at me, laughing at me. I thought I was over this–over her–but as it turns out, I was just over avoiding it.
NINA
It’s been about a week since Travis moved in, and I’ve gotten really good at avoiding him. I hate to admit it, but the night he grabbed my boobs in his sleep, it was the most action I’d gotten in… well, a while. I’m one hundred percent sure he called my name when I went into his room, and though he said that he did, he wouldn’t tell me what he was dreaming about.
Since then, I’ve been either hiding out in my room or staying out to eat somewhere. I’ll do anything to avoid any type of conversation. However, just because I’m avoiding him doesn’t mean I’ve stopped picturing him naked. I’ve had some very confusing dreams involving him and my purple couch lately, which is honestly really strange.
Usually, I just wait for him to leave in the morning to go to his parents’ house before I exit my room. Which means I have to get ready for work really fast. I end up putting my makeup on in the parking lot at work and doing my hair in the office.
To me, it’s worth it. I can’t look at him without thinking about his hands on me. Especially now that he groped my breasts. Somehow, I feel like avoidance is the best way to handle this because at least the rent is getting paid, and that’s the entire reason he’s here.
Today I’m not going to work though. I’ve got to get the furniture thing handled. I throw on sweats and braid my hair in pigtails. I don’t have to look glamorous for this trip out.
Maybe if I have time, I’ll go to the gym. We have a really nice one on the apartment’s property, but I’ve been so stressed I haven’t used it. I’ve also been eating super shitty and have probably gained at least ten pounds in bloat.
I haven’t given Travis a chance to offer to help buying furniture because he’s not going to be staying with me for long. I’ll just take on a second job or sell what little I have left to make rent next month. No way, no how is he staying here another month.
