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But Mimi fainted outside Channel Six Studios, she was taken to hospital, and I’d insisted I could handle one tiny television interview with my stepdad. I couldn’t. And I’d subsequently destroyed Justin Ramirez’s life, broken my sister’s heart in the process, and handled what should have been a silent return home as delicately as a herd of rhinos doing “Swan Lake.”
So, like the spoiled brat I’ve turned into in the past twenty hours, I’d turned Krystal on Ryder. And no matter how many times he’s seen me moody in the last year, he’s never seen Krystal in super-bitch mode before.
But… they were right. I didn’t want to let the pressure valve go like this. I’d pay for it.
Now, every shot I drink I spit into my empty beer bottle, I don’t actually drink it at all. Another trick I learned from watching movies—like Coyote Ugly.
I’ve sweet talked the barman, which in this outfit really wasn’t hard. Every drink he pours for me is a virgin cocktail with pretend shots of alcohol, because no matter how much I tell myself that I can dress up in next to nothing, tease the hell out of thirty men, reduce them to their former geeky teenage selves, and party like there’s no tomorrow…I can’t.
I’m not enjoying it.
After all, somewhere among the red mist last night, I destroyed my life, and I didn’t care. It's only now that I care about the God knows how many others I might have taken with me.
I’ve never wanted to be an actress. But I grew up one half of a cutsie wootsie identical double act. It was fun at first. Menial parts in infomercials and commercials. It got me out of school, thank you very much. Then there were one-off parts on television shows and made for TV movies. I did it because mom told me to, and I couldn’t say no to Mom.
In fact, she isn’t Mom. She’s Angela Valentina. The Angela Valentina! The actress who’d played LA Sunset’s evil super villain for twenty-six years. She’s survived a countless number of cast culls. She’s never had an issue with contract renegotiations, and she even had sabbatical time granted when she simply didn’t turn up at the studio.
My mom is a diva personified.
My sister embraced our theatrical inheritance; singing, dancing, drama, music—anything where a spotlight was focused on Mimi. I hated every second of it. I spent every spare minute either in the library studying for a successful career where no one knew my name, or in the dojo studying how to harmonize my body, spirit, and mind while letting out my frustration.
And then I wasn’t allowed to go to a normal high school. I was forced to attend Jordan Academy, the school of dreams, the performing arts academy founded by my grandfather. That’s where I met Tristan, Mimi met Justin, and the four of us went on to star in the now legendary sitcom Baker's Dozen.
When I was old enough, I left.
I put as much distance between myself and Krystal Valentina as possible. I spent nine amazing years in New York training for, and then becoming, a lawyer. And then Mimi’s life fell apart.
She needed help. She asked for my help, and I’d refused to give up my life in New York. She tried to end it all. It was too late to save her career by then, so I did what I had to. I created a controversy and positioned myself as the villain and Mimi as the victim; all anyone would remember was when Mimi was at rock bottom, I betrayed her. I swooped in and stole her job, her endorsement contracts, her ambassador statuses, anything she was attached to—I took it all from her.
I blew up my career, broke my heart, and destroyed my whole life to protect Mimi. And this is the thanks I get. My sister ran around the world pretending to be Krystal, getting in so deep with my nemesis that he proposed to me—thinking I was her—live on television.
Krystal hadn’t taken a break, no one knew I almost died in Switzerland. Mimi protected my privacy when I needed her. She did interviews, took on guest starring roles in television shows, and made public appearances. My career has continued, and my agent is in talks with two movie producers and expecting a script from a third who simply must have me for the lead character.
It’s all so… so… empty.
I’ve been away from Krystal’s life for fifteen months and yet not a single thing has changed. When you’ve got an identical twin, it is possible to have her step into your life and for not on person who claimed to adore you even notice. Not Lee, not Dan, or my agent. Not the people I see one a daily basis. Or maybe Mimi was just that good at being me.
A vivacious young bartender places a cocktail on a small napkin in front of me. “Courtesy of Mr. Hot and Handsome in the black shirt. The one with dark hair and even darker eyes that’s sitting at the end of the bar.” He tosses a quick glance over his shoulder and then mimics a tiger claw.
I look over the bartender’s shoulder and do a double-take.
No, it can’t be!
I shake the recognition from my head. It’s not Sean. It can’t be Sean.
Well, actually...
I shake my head again.
Technically, it could be. He is in Las Vegas and we are staying in the same hotel. But it’s a very big hotel and I haven’t seen him yet. Running into him in a nightclub, though…it’s just wishful thinking.
My ex-fiancé wouldn't send me a drink in a nightclub after pretending I don't exist for twelve months. I need to stop thinking like this. Every guy who looks vaguely like Sean is not him.
The cricket is on my shoulder again. Soraya hit my memory with the prescription medication warnings: do not drink alcohol. Along with the several other rules I’ve already broken.
Strangers don't know, don't care that I spent three months in a coma and then twelve months in the hospital recovering from a stunt gone wrong. They pushed and shoved and had caused me an immeasurable amount of pain as we walked through a crowded nightclub toward the restricted area of the VIP bar.
I push the glass away. I’m never sharing my dark side with anyone else ever again. I’m never making myself so vulnerable in a relationship and telling someone my job is being Krystal Valentina. Because I’m not Krystal anymore. Mimi can have her. I want nothing more than to disappear to a remote island or forest hideaway and live out the rest of my days alone.
