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“I screwed up.” I shrug. “Some mistakes can’t be forgiven.”
“But Ashleigh makes you happy, Dad!” Stephi weeps. “Don’t give her up for me. You shouldn’t have to choose between us. That’s not fair!”
“I never meant for you to think I was choosing Ashleigh over you Stephanie.” I swallow against the lump in my throat, sputter, and cough around it. “You're planning to move across the country and leave everything you know. There's only me and Aunt Julia here in LA. I want to be sure you’ve thought this through. This wasn't about Ashleigh at all. She was a convenient excuse to make you think again because you hate her so much.”
“But you said…” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “You said you're married to her.”
“I am.” I put my mouth by her ear and whisper back “And it's going to take a few months to rectify that situation.”
“But Dad… you can’t.” Stephi looks away. Her gaze drops to her knotting and unknotting her fingers. “Ashleigh said that you’d break her heart for me. She said she’d probably never get over it but she’s okay with that. She said I had to be okay with it. But Dad, I can’t be okay with it. It’s not fair to ask you to do that for me if I’m not prepared to make an effort. If she makes you happy, then I will make the effort for you.”
“Wow.” I blink a couple of times and swallow. There’s a ton of guilt and a whole load of emotional blackmail in that little speech. “Who told you that, Stephi? You’re not responsible for my happiness, I’m responsible for yours.” I look farther down the corridor. “I want you to ignore whoever you have been talking to because I screwed it up here, it’s got nothing to do with you not liking her.”
“It was mom.”
“Why do you hate Ashleigh?”
“I… I… don’t hate her… not as much as I used to. Because of what she did. She stole you from mom. Mimi said so. And she said you left me to be with Ashleigh. She said Ashleigh was the reason you’re miserable because she’s using you. Just like she uses everyone else.”
“Ignore her,” I instruct. “For one reason or another it’s just never been the right time for Ashleigh and me. But we always end up right back where we started.” I smile gently at her. “So, if we’re meant to be together, then she’s going to come back into our lives. And if she does then we’ll have this conversation. But this time wasn’t the right time.”
“But why?”
“Because you come first, remember? You were always supposed to come first, the difference is that I now have my priorities in the right order.”
She steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist. “Love you, Dad.”
Right here, in this moment, I realize I might have lost the love of my life this weekend, but I’ve gained something much more precious. For the first time in eight years, I have my daughter back.
I kiss the top of her head. “Love you too, Stephi.”
CHAPTER 20
SEAN
Four months later
* * *
The bakery is unreasonably busy for mid-morning on a weekday. Usually, there’s some business people meeting for brunch and the odd group of mothers meeting with toddlers. But not today.
No, today when it’s Stephi’s last day in New York, the place where we’ve chosen to have breakfast is packed. It’s full to bursting with TV crew members, journalists and photographers and there’s not an empty seat or standing room in the entire place.
I glance up at the fifth avenue apartment across the street and wonder why Stephi chose this place. She said it’s her favorite place in New York for breakfast. But Anna said she hadn’t brought Stephi to this side of the city since I’d left New York.
Stephi remembers all those weekends, when Anna was on night shift, and we’d come here for breakfast with Ashleigh. That was nearly a decade ago.
My phone vibrates on the table, but I ignore it. It’s Candice. She’s left half a dozen messages in the last twenty-four hours. There’s a big story in New York involving my closest celebrity friend, Krystal Valentina, and she wants me to tell the story.
But JT Preston retired months ago. Four months ago, to be exact. I’m freelancing at the moment; it’s just about covering the bills, but my real name is attached. No more pseudonyms. No more hiding from my mistakes.
Stephi lifts her gaze from her plate of pancakes and strawberries with a sigh as she stares out at the street full of news vans and illegally parked vehicles causing havoc with the already nightmarish traffic.
Anna’s eyes meet mine across the table as I sip my coffee, then pick up a bite-sized piece of a croissant. Stephi isn’t hungry? Anna said she’d seemed to lose her appetite since she’d come back from Las Vegas. She wasn’t excited about moving to LA or starting her new school, either.
“Stephi.” I look at Anna, then take Stephi’s hand. “You know I love you and I want you to come to LA more than anything in the world, don’t you?” She turns sad and watery eyes to me and my heart almost shatters into a billion pieces. “But… Princess, I don’t want you there if you’re not going to be happy. Please tell me if you’ve changed your mind.”
“I haven’t.” She sighs as turning her gaze back to the street. This time I can see what she’s looking at; Ashleigh’s fifth avenue apartment.
