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“But how?” Lori swallowed, keeping her eyes fixed on the doctor. “I’m on birth control. We only just stopped using condoms.”
“There isn’t a birth control invented that’s one hundred percent effective. Sometimes, those little suckers just get through.” He chuckled.
“I know this, but…” She shook her head. “Oh god.”
His breath caught in his throat, and his chest felt as if someone had dropped a concrete slab onto it. Innumerable questions raced through his mind, each one tumbling into the next.
“We’ll organize a scan a day or two from now so we can gauge how far along you are. Can you remember the date of your last period?”
“I… um.” Lori grimaced. “There’s been a lot going on.”
She still wouldn’t look at him. And he still couldn’t muster a single articulate question.
“Don’t worry. The scan will give us a rough idea.” He flicked over a page on his clipboard. “There are complications to consider, given your particular circumstances, but,” he checked the silver watch on his wrist, “four in the morning isn’t the time to be having those conversations.”
Zane found his voice. “What complications?”
“Well, pregnancies put a lot of pressure on a woman’s body, and more so on someone like you, Miss James. I’ll send in a nurse to get the details from you regarding your cardiologist and ensure my notes make their way over. No doubt he or she will want to keep a close eye on you.”
“Wait.” Zane stood, planting his hands on his hips. “Are you telling me that being pregnant could put additional pressure on Lori’s heart and worsen the risks for someone like her?”
“It’s possible, yes. But try not to worry. Her doctors will monitor her every step of the way. Lots of transplant patients become parents.” He fired off another smile. “I’ll go make the arrangements for your discharge and then you’re free to go home.”
“You’re not keeping her in?” Aware he’d almost barked at the doctor, he dialed it back. “I mean, she fainted. And she said she felt sick. And she hasn’t been eating properly. Shouldn’t you keep her in at least tonight?”
“I’m not staying in the hospital,” Lori stated in a no-nonsense tone.
Zane ignored her. “You have a duty of care. It’s the middle of the night. Isn’t she better off here than running about the city at four in the morning?”
“Running about,” Lori drawled. “Don’t be ridiculous, Zane. And it’s not up to you anyway. It’s my decision, and I’m going home.”
The doctor shuffled from his left foot to his right and back to his left again. “Well, I’ll leave you two to talk.”
He ducked out before Zane could fire off another volley of questions. Now that he’d found his voice, it appeared he couldn’t shut up.
“I am not happy about this, Lori.” He stuffed a hand through his hair and paced. “You’re treating this as if it’s an everyday occurrence.” More pacing, eyes on the floor. “This is serious. They should keep you in and monitor you.”
He only realized Lori had gotten out of bed when she stepped in front of him, putting a stop to all the marching up and down.
“This is my decision, Zane. Not yours. And are you even going to mention the bombshell we’ve just had dropped on us from nowhere? Or continue to berate the doctors when they are the experts, not you?”
“You’re pregnant.” He threw his hands in the air. “You’re pregnant and you have a dodgy heart. And it’s dangerous. Jesus, Lori.” He sank onto the chair and resumed his earlier slumped, hands-in-hair position.
“Great. You heard only the negatives. How about the positives?”
He rubbed his face. God, he was tired. What other shit was karma planning to throw their way? “What do you want to do?”
“What do I want to do?” She crouched before him, angling her head until their eyes collided. “I’m keeping it, Zane. I’m as scared as you are for what this could mean, but regardless, I’m keeping it.”
“Even if it causes your heart to fail? Even if it means you go back on the transplant list? Even if it means…” He swallowed and closed his eyes. “Even if it means you could die?”
“Didn’t you hear a single word the doctor said? You’re getting way ahead of yourself.”
“Says the woman who told me she’s living on borrowed time. You remember that, right, Lori? And yet you’re willing to shorten that time when you don’t have to.”
Her lips flattened, and a muscle beat in her cheek as she scissored her jaw. She straightened. “You said tonight that you wanted kids. And yeah, the timing might not be perfect, and there are all sorts of things to consider, but whether or not I’m having this baby isn’t one of them. I’m keeping it.” Dropping to a crouch again, she gripped his knees. “I get that you’re scared. Christ, I’m scared. I’m terrified for what this could mean. But this is our baby, Zane. I’m having our baby. I won’t terminate. Not even if it kills me.”
His insides ignited into an inferno of rage and despair and hopelessness. “And I don’t get a say in this? It’s my baby, too. Do you have any idea what it’ll do to me if I lose you again? For good this time.”
