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“Benji.”
I spin on her, my jaw set. “What are you doing here?”
She readjusts at my tone, upping her chin and pulling back her shoulders. “I thought…” She shakes her head like it doesn’t matter—but it does. Why is she here to witness my thrashed heart?
“Those lyrics,” she starts.
“They’re just words,” I lie. “They don’t have to mean anything.”
Charlie looks like I slapped her, her eyes glimmering in unshed tears. “No, Benji. They do mean something. And you know what? They meant something then too. Because I believed them. I believed every single word you spoke to me that night and then you just disappeared.”
She’s shouting, but I’m just standing here, processing what she said.
“What?” I ask. I take a step toward her, but she backs away, tucking into herself. “CJ, what are you talking about? I didn’t disappear.”
She laughs at me, cold and harsh. “You did. You told me we were going to be together and then you never showed up. I waited, Benji. I waited like an idiot for you to come. I texted, I—”
“My phone was broken,” I tell her. I threw it after seeing her with Michael, just so happened to land right under a truck tire.
Charlie’s lower lip wobbles, and I see a glimpse of the same pain in her eyes I felt that night.
“I texted you not to meet at the tree because there were so many people there, and I wanted you all to myself.” I try another step, and this time she doesn’t move, her eyebrows pulling together at my words.
“I texted you to meet me back at the boat house. But when I got there…” My teeth clench at the memory, but I force out the rest, “I saw you, Charlie. I saw you with Mike. His hands all over you, his mouth.”
She starts shaking her head, but I continue. “I was numb. It hurt so fucking bad, my body all but shut down to keep it together. I finally had the girl of my dreams, and then she went back to my best friend. I packed my shit that night, and I left—I never looked back. I couldn’t. Because the idea of watching you with him again was enough to kill me.”
Charlie has her arms crossed over her chest when one hand reaches up to swipe away a tear. It guts me, but I don’t move.
“Benji,” she says, her voice soft. “I never got a text from you.”
An iciness creeps through my veins and coats my skin with her words.
“You never—”
“I was leaving the boat house when Michael found me. He wanted to talk, but then he started telling me how sorry he was. That he’d made a mistake. But I told him he was right. I was done, we were done.”
I stand there, listening, understanding less and less the longer she talks.
“He was so drunk, no idea where he’d left his phone or keys. I couldn’t abandon him there to do something stupid, so I gave him my phone to call a ride. Then he told me he wanted to say goodbye the way he should have in the first place. I thought it was just a hug, but then he kissed me. I know I should have stopped it sooner, but I thought it was just a goodbye kiss. Only then he got handsy and tried to make it something more. I stopped it. I left him at the lake and went to find you. But you were—”
“I was already gone,” I say, realization a fucking bitch.
I had her. I had her, and I walked away.
Charlie wipes at a trail of tears while I stare at her, my mind piecing everything together.
“You never got my text?” I ask, my voice distant, not feeling or sounding like mine.
She shakes her head, and then her tear-filled gaze pops up to mine. “Oh my God … Michael.”
My jaw nearly breaks hearing the name, and I walk past her, heading toward the parking lot.
“Benji?” she calls after me.
I stop by my car. Turn. And tip my head. “Get in.”
CHAPTER 9
