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I had only heard about these secret poker games yesterday from Candice who waitresses here on the weekends. She found me crying in the alley behind my shop and asked me what was wrong.
After my drawn out sob story she told me about tonight but made me promise to never tell anyone that she gave me the information. I told her I wouldn’t share any secrets if she kept mine safe as well and she agreed.
But now it looks like it doesn’t matter.
I could tell by the look on Alex’s face when he dismissed me that he knows what I’ve done.
I can’t believe I thought this was a good idea.
At the time, I didn’t consider that I was hurting Shane and Alex. I only saw what I could lose. Sitting across the table from the two boys, now men, that I’ve always loved just did it for me. I wanted to run out of there but I had nothing left and I already crossed the line.
I have no other option available to me.
If this worked, my secret would have been safe and they wouldn’t have needed to check my financials.
But it didn’t work.
Sitting across from Alex as he watched me, sobered me.
My horrid reality hit me in the face and all at once I realized just how far I’ve fallen.
I crossed the line.
I lied to them and I used them and their business.
I stole from them.
How could I have been so stupid?
Everyone has a choice. I had a choice and I chose deception, but it isn’t that simple.
Bit by bit, I didn’t see the deep hole I was slipping into until I was already halfway down the slope, and every time I tried to climb out, I sunk further in.
My stomach growls as I glance at the meal in front of me.
I’m so hungry I can smell the pickles and cranberry mayonnaise on the bread. Picking the sandwich off the plate, I take a big bite. It tastes as good as it looks but it’s hard to swallow. My nerves are vibrating through me and the lump in my throat is getting in the way.
As I reach across the table to take a large gulp of wine, the handle to the door rattles, then opens.
Quickly, I place the glass back down and stand, turning to face the men walking in as I force my full mouthful down my throat.
The concerned expression on Alex’s face morphs into an uncertain smile when his eyes meet mine and he steps into the room.
Standing in this private space, away from everyone else makes me feel worse than I did a minute ago.
Staring back at me are my best friends. At least they were. Unease seeps into my heart and loneliness hits me in a wave of regret.
I am no longer their friend. I’m just the woman who waltzed in their front door and tried to steal from them and I deserve everything I get.
I deserve it because I let them down. I’ve disappointed them. And I deserve it because, if I had the chance to do it again, I would.
Dale took so much from me before he finally left, but there is one thing he gave me—and that one thing is everything to me, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep it.
Alex looks like he wants to say something but it’s Shane’s voice I hear and my already fractured world crumbles to dust around me.
I’ve lost everything, and it’s all my fault.
ALEX
