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He held me close after, wrapped in his arms and his legs. His hand rested on my stomach. Warm. Strong. Meant to be there. Protecting what was his.
I’d told him that I loved him, and he’d told me to save it for when he got home. But as I started to drift, he whispered all the things he wanted to say in my ear. Tears slipped from my eyes, down my nose, and disappeared into the stiff pillow. I never imagined another person could love me as much he did. I knew no one else ever would. I held on to his hand like it was the only thing that had the strength to pull me up.
Because it was.
I felt him watching me as I drifted back and forth. I knew he kept checking my breathing.
In the morning, the sun blasted through the windows, and my eyes closed against it, burning against the light and unshed tears. The bed was empty, and my husband was gone.
LILO
PRESENT DAY
Tigran walked me to his car. It was sleek and fast. Mostly black, even the windows, except for the silver rims.
“You have everything you need?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m set.” I looked beyond him, up at the windows of the hospital. I felt her eyes on me. "If I don’t—”
He held a hand up. “I’m sure you said all the things left to say to your wife last night. You don't need to do that with me. Whatever she needs, I'm there. I doubt Michele will allow it, though.”
“She'll need more protection than he can give. But I don't doubt that he'll go with her. Or demand to stay close. He loves her like a daughter.”
“Of course. The baby is part of my sister. And part of his son.”
“His son?” I made a disbelieving noise, but I remembered what Michele had told me the night before. How he didn’t know me.
Tigran held his hand up again. “You can't blame him for despising this life. Some men can live it because their conscience is silent. Other men can hear it for what it is. Constant chaos.” He studied my face. “You look so much like me, but you look like him, too. I know he hated seeing me in you all these years, but despite it, I know he loves you. My sister wouldn't have put up with anything less. You were her world. Her brio of life.”
I nodded. Then changed the subject. “Ava?” I saw the way he was looking at her.
“If Lucila wasn’t your wife…” He grinned and shrugged.
“You'd go after her.”
“She’d be mine. She's stunning.” The grin turned into a smile. Probably at the look on mine. “Her sister is stunning, too. They share something similar, but they’re so different. She makes me curious.”
“She's my sister-in-law.” I said it with respect, but also as a reminder.
He squeezed my shoulder. “Don't worry about me. Worry about what's ahead of you. Call me if you need anything.” He went to walk off but stopped. He turned to face me. “Carine would be proud of the decision you made. You're doing what's best for your family. You're going to be a good father, Brio. I'm going to convince your wife to start calling you that while you're out handling business. Lilo.” He huffed.
“Uncle?”
He stopped.
“I appreciate you. Ma loved you.”
“And I love her. For the rest of my life.”
I watched him walk, but he stopped by the entrance of the ER, watching me. There was probably a price out on my head, and he knew it. I looked up the windows once more and lifted my hand, wondering if she was there, or if Ava was watching. Either way, she would know.
I'd gotten in touch with the right man before I left the hospital, and my appointment was in twenty minutes. I was to meet them at the same house where Gallo had met me years before.
The ride felt like it took seconds.
Everything was vivid around me. The dog barking next door. The smell of summer in the air. The heat on my skin. The strong gusts of wind that blew against it. It made me think about Coney Island and ma. How the same weather would make anticipation rise in my chest for an entire month. She would take me every July.
It was all so acute. And so was the feeling of someone being close to me. Someone who meant me no harm. It felt like someone breathing me in. Ma.
