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Even though he knew I hated smoking and I felt insulted by this gesture, his uncaring nature seemed to draw me in even more. I wanted to crack him, to be the only woman on the planet who could make him reallyfeelsomething.
Of course, I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make him so happy that the thought of being with another woman disgusted and bored him. I’d never been first to any man in my life, even the ones who I bent over backward for.
This time would be different.
The stakes were too high.
I agreed, and from that day forward, all I ever did when Delilah left for work was rummage through her belongings until I came across information that Luka would find to be useful.
When I stumbled upon her birth certificate and social security card in a tattered manila envelope, I wanted to scream for joy. She didn’t even know they were gone by the time Luka had photocopied them and returned them to me.
Delilah’s an idiot and extremely persuadable. Even though she was smart in school, she lacks the ability to tell when somebody has bad intentions for her. She trusts everybody as long as they don’t spit in her face and call her the devil’s bastard. Her history of getting bullied played beautifully into that.
The night before Luka kidnapped Delilah, the guy that Luka simultaneously worshipped and held contempt for showed up to our apartment door. I had seen him at the club before, but it was strange to get a better look at him in the hallway light. His steely eyes looked straight through me when I opened the door for him, and for a split second, I thought for sure he was there to kill me for helping Luka.
Instead, he just fucked Delilah.
All men are the same.
It wasn’t like I felt no remorse for betraying her. I just didn’t feel enough not to go through with the plan.
Feeling Luka’s warmth and attention soothed the part of me that felt any guilt, and I had no idea how to live without it after a while even when I started to have reservations about what we were doing. No man had ever been so attentive, so present with me. It was like a drug that I could never give up.
Now, feeling the praise that I get whenever he sends me an update is a rush like nothing else. I feel like his queen, the right hand in his empire.
He’s even been sending me little gifts as additional thanks, and some of the gifts cost more than my car. He gave me a tennis bracelet that’s worth ten thousand dollars. With money like that to throw around, it’s been hard to imagine a life without that kind of luxury. It can all be mine if I just cooperate.
“One problem. She’s pregnant. Did you know about that?” Luka texts me.
The blood drains from my face.
Delilah is pregnant?
AndI’mnot?
I’ve spent so much of my life being jealous of Delilah for a lot of reasons. Even though she was adopted, she grew up in a gated community with a huge house. Her family spent thousands on Christmas every year, and they went on vacation every summer. Her family would be able to fund her entire existence if she asked them to. She doesn’t even need to be working, yet she chose to get involved in a criminal enterprise by fucking her way into a job that she doesn’t need in the first place.
I’d giveanythingto have the kind of money she grew up with.
Maybe that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing.
What Delilah doesn’t understand is that not everybody can take those kinds of risks with their lives. She knew that she could have just settled into a life where she could do nothing but enjoy her time, learning new skills, and seeing the world without a single worry about anything. The fact that she threw that away to fuck some guy she met at a club infuriates me.
And maybe Elliot is a bad guy, but she’s lucky she got him to stay with her for so long. All of her emotional outbursts and nagging probably led him to cheat, and I can’t say I blame him. She’s always complaining about something, always the center of the universe where she’s being perpetually attacked.
I get out of bed and put on something just a bit cuter than I’ve been wearing lately. Talking to Luka makes me want to be better, to look better for him. Even though I’ve always cared a lot about my appearance, I feel like his standards are so much higher after being raised with Italian mafia money.
All I think about lately is how I can be better than the women he’s gotten used to, the women he’s gotten bored of.
It feels like an uphill battle.
Even just seeing the girls he hangs out with at the club was intimidating. I always thought I was one of the prettiest girls in my school, maybe even in college too, but there’s no natural beauty that money can’t top. I’ve considered asking Luka to buy me plastic surgery in exchange for the information I gave him about Delilah, but I need to work on him a little longer.
I don’t want to just come out and ask. That would be so tacky of me.
As soon as I get my clothes on with matching jewelry, I hear someone pounding on the front door.
Luka didn’t say he was coming over today, even though Delilah isn’t here to see him. Could he be here to surprise me?
